Samuel meets God

Check out our fb page!

2011-10-07T14:50:00.000-04:00

Hey guys!

Remember to check out our Facebook page and remember to post, post, post! As well Like our page. :)

Kevin

Persecution of Christians

2010-11-23T22:22:00.001-05:00

Recently, Iraqi Christians have come under attack in Baghdad in which Al-Qaeda militants have claimed responsibility. Even as they suffer, God promises Christians who face persecution because of their religion will receive a great reward in heaven (Matthew 5:10-12). This touches me as it reminds me how lucky we are to be in Canada, where we can openly profess our faith. As well, let's keep these Christians in mind throughout the week and pray for their safety and well-being. Let's also pray for those who are persecuting the Iraqi Christans, that they will one day accept Jesus into their lives and understand that killing anyone is not right.

Incredible courage

2010-08-08T17:46:00.002-04:00

http://www.thestar.com/videozone/845039--christians-coming-under-attack-in-china

When I have nothing that is 'important and time sensitive" on my hands, I usually go skim through some news articles. This is what I came upon today.

What caught my attention the most was that 'there are now more members of the Christian faith then the communist party."

I always thought that China was like crazy communist, haha, but guess not? :) It's the power of the Gospel! :D

--amy.

Retreat! :)

2010-08-02T23:38:00.002-04:00

GUYS,

I really wanna encourage you guys to share something about this year's retreat. I know all of you took something away from it, so let's hear it! :)

It's a shame that we won't be having regular fellowship time for the rest of the summer, but that doesn't mean that we can't still fellowship through our blogging and sharing!

PS. For those of you that aren't helping out with VBS, you should still come by afterwards for gym time and what not!

Praise the Lord for this weekend!

--aamy

hey friendssss

2010-07-30T00:13:00.002-04:00

GOOD NEWS! hahah, or bad.

So i've decided that since i have a lot of random thoughts and such.. i'm gonna be blogging on my own (and very old) blog again! wohooo :) http://users.livejournal.com/__amy_sa/

I'll try to post here too.. but i'm not sure how often that'll be.

DONT LET THIS BLOG DIE, GUYS! :(

--AMY.

P90X!

2010-07-05T17:49:00.002-04:00

Haha, so i guess no one blogs here anymore?! *sadface. (hahaha...)

Since the weather's been so humidly hot, it's a struggle for me just to get out of the house. Talk about laziness! In light of this, today I was doing some exercise at home, y'know, to lose a few pounds. Haha, so my friend and I were doing Ab Ripper X from the p90x program a while ago...(Note: Obviously I gave up.. haha) so I just decided to do it again today! Man, that was a hardcore hour!

Anyway, so I recall a conversation I had with Josh a few days ago as I was exercising and listening to some upbeat music.. haha. He was saying how p90x doesnt work unless you follow it RELIGIOUSLY. I laughed at first, and then I started to question whether we do anything religiously...I dont know, man, but it feels absurd to have to follow anything in this world religiously other than Jesus. Do we even take our faith religiously, or is it just something that we do now? I mean, where do I place God in my life as of this very minute? Am I following Christ every day RELIGIOUSLY?

--amy.

If you're reading this, then you would also have noticed our blog's new look! SWEEET! :D

P.U.S.H.

2010-06-09T00:27:00.002-04:00

Pray until something happens.

I was reading a book a few weeks ago and it talked about prayer. A lot of times we pray for ourselves, but we wont fully understand prayer until we do it right. Prayer isnt for you to ask for things, but a conversation with God. It's about Him, and not you. Then the book said something about praying FOR God. Never thought of that, eh. We usually ask each other how we're doing and how we can pray for each other.. but have you ever prayed for God? It makes perfect sense though...If we treat God as our Friend, why dont we ask Him how HE feels about stuff that's been happening? I'm not sure if i make sense, but i hope you see my point.

Anyway, I've been wondering if I'm trying to take matters into my own hands by being overly active in job seeking. HAHA. but regardless... IN HIS TIME, things shall unfold.

I think God's so funny lately. I see His work in me and those around me.. and sometimes it just makes me smile/laugh at how creative He can be at revealing His will to me. :) Praise God!

love,

--amy.

Fairweather followers

2010-06-05T14:12:00.004-04:00

So this morning, I found myself sitting in a car waiting to do my G2 test (again). I was freakishly nervous. I'm talking like, I STILL have a stomach ache from the nervous feeling in my gut. It was horrible. So I'm trying to take my mind off the test, and I noticed that I randomly started (silently) singing worship tunes in my head. Huh. Okay, so that's kinda comforting. But the nervous feeling isn't going away, so I began to hum. Which is totally weird because I never hum. Then soon enough, I find myself full out singing in my car. I still can't believe i did that.

Anyway, towards the end of my little musical act, I began to realize that I've really been taking God for granted. It's so easy to pray and seek His comfort when I'm in need and to praise Him when good things happen. But other than that, this past month or so, it's been a one-way relationship. I've been focusing a lot on me. Why is my life going in this direction, what am I supposed to do, what's in it for me...etc. I really need to get back into the mindset that a relationship with God works both ways. Not only what He does for me, but what I can do for Him. It almost felt...unfair that I neglected God for so long, but right when I needed Him, He was there for me.

So this got me thinking about something that I learned at Sunday sermon a few months ago. In Matthew 21:6, when Jesus is about to enter Jerusalem, the crowds shout "Hosanna!" at his presence. However, in Matthew 27:22, those same crowds disown him by shouting "Crucify him!" when Pilate asks who the crowds want him to release. This is an example of how easily we praise and disown God. One minute, we're praising God for the good blessings in our life. But once the going gets tough and we face a challenge, it's so easy to turn our back on God.

(8) "...I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name"?
Oh definitely.

God of this City

2010-06-03T13:09:00.003-04:00

So i'm back from my hk trip! YEAH! :D

I've been meaning to blog for a long, long time now, but i never got around to doing so.

I think the most important lesson that I learned from the past 4 weeks was that God is not only the God of Toronto, of Canada, but of every single place on the Earth. I guess I've never thought of HK people (or Asians, i guess?) to be very "Christian" since there's so many other gods out there...And cause Chinese people are very... superstitious? But I went to church with my Aunt one week and I realized how dedicated the Christians were there.. Praising God together in one voice, in unity... It was just a really eye opening experience. And there's actually a lot of church around! I guess it just seemed kinda sketchy cause they're all in buildings, so it'd be kinda werid to just walk in a random building and go up like ten floors.. haha.

Anyway, i'm back for good! for the next 3 months, anyway. :) Get used to me!

love,

--amy.

Judging Books

2010-04-30T22:52:00.007-04:00

Tonight was actually pretty awesome. My family went to Victoria's and Angela's (hopefully you still remember them) church and heard someone say their testimony and adventures but this someone isn't just somebody, this is the Miss Hong Kong Pageant Winner of 1975, Mary Pandora Cheung.(but get this, she is the sister in law for Bruce Lee. I didn't believe this when i heard of it either.) So when I entered their church, it was so different from our church since there were soft chairs instead of pews and the sanctuary was pretty small compared to ours. It was a really big slap in the face for me.

When her testimony started, it was really straightforward about how she came to God and how she accepted God. The most touching part of that was the part when she talked about how her son went to school, said goodbye to his father and came back at 6 pm to start dinner but as he called his father, he didn't respond because he already passed away while he was asleep from watching tennis and he had to call his mom back from Beijing since this happened. Another thing about her is that she hated her parents when they were young because she was an orphan and she abhorred both mother's day and father's day. She soon found out where her mom was but in Taiwan and by that time, she forgave her for leaving her as a child which was also quite touching as well. Who knew a successful woman like her could have such a somber past? I seriously didn't.

-Billy

Two truths and a lie

2010-04-22T20:35:00.002-04:00

Two truths and a lie about university:

It is almost impossible to keep your scholarship
You will face more challenges about your faith now than in high school
You can't run away from math

Well, it's difficult to keep your scholarship, but it's definitely do-able; therefore, it's not impossible. Unfortunately, I didn't believe people when they told me I couldn't run away from math- so that's no lie. So that leaves #2 as a truth. I kept hearing people say that in university, there would be many more challenges to and about your faith. I didn't believe that there could be THAT much, but as you can (hopefully) see from my previous blogs, I ran into more challenges than I would've originally thought.

It took some getting used to...knowing what to say when people asked me about my faith and when they had questions. I think that kept me going because in a way, I felt as though I NEEDED to know the basics and facts of the Bible in order to answer people validly. Situation wise, I'm still trying to find a good balance between doing what I know is right and not being a hermit. Just a vague summary because I don't wanna ramble like I tend to do: ohh my goodness, all of this really gave me some spiritual awakening. I'm used to being in a Christian-y environment with the majority of people that I know as Christians. University? Not so much so. At all. One of the things I struggled with most was being a Christian and trying to gently outreach, but not being one of "those Christians that shove religion down your throat" as many people have said to me. I feel like this year was a stepping stone for me. When given the opportunity, I usually took it and tried to mention my faith to people. It was small, and in the end, I felt like it didn't do much, but I do feel like it prepared me for doing more. This is just a beginning.

On another note, I was walking along the Rideau Canal the other day during sunset. It was so lovely. At one point where I reached a wider stretch where you could see the sun setting along the skyline, I just stopped and paused to look at the beauty. I looked around, and there were trees abloom and ducks and groundhogs and stuff. It was so peaceful and wonderful just to notice God's creation. I'm not quite sure what I was feeling- it was kind of like, I took notice of the little intricate things of His creation, and it made me remember that I'm a part of His plan and that I'm not just going on aimlessly. The past two weeks have been insane. I've been trying to decide whether or not to stay in Ottawa for the summer because of jobs that I potentially got. I had almost no time to decide before moving out of rez. I had to find someone to move me out and where to move. In the end, I kept praying for guidance and a clear sign- that I've been trying to take all this into my hands, but I couldn't do anything else so I wanted to give my worries to God. It's just been really eye-opening to me. I felt like for a while now, it's been one-sided. With me just asking and expecting to receive, but at the same time, I still wanted control of my life. I'm not proud that it takes desperate situations for me to come to a realization, but better late and occassionally than never, I suppose. That's kind of the feeling and cycle that I got throughout the year. Wanting control; letting go; asking and expecting an answer...stuff like that.

This year has just been so amazing in all I've experienced and despite my struggles, I think that as a whole, I became closer to God. My experiences weren't as mundane and sure, I got into some trouble, but the harder I fell, the closer I wanted to get to God again. I'm thankful and I love God for walking with me through this year.

Amazed

2010-04-19T23:59:00.002-04:00

Lalala, so I thought I should blog since I don't want to study for exams. :)

Today, I woke up at 6:45 to do some last minute studying for my 9am exam. I was making breakfast and texting my friends to wake them up so that they can do some last minute cramming too. So while doing this, I looked around, looked outside.. just to absorb the day. There was a bird chirping and it got a tad bit annoying. But then I realized, Wow. I'm not exactly sure what I felt, but it was just an amazing feeling. I was studying for biology, and everytime I learn something new, I just really appreciate God's creativity more and more. We take everything that we see and know for granted, when all of creation is truly screaming "YO, GOD IS AMAZING."

As I was walking to the exam, this song was playing over and over in my head: Amazed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQAPMRpNoe8

After my exam, I also got a chance to talk to a friend about how God's been faithful every step of the way during this first year of university. I think during these past 8 months, I've truly experienced all the ups and downs that a person can experience...The craziness, the anxiousness, the fatigue, the joy, the pain, the loneliness, the thrill, the temptations...but most of all, God's grace. Honestly, I'm not sure how I would have coped without God's presence in His Spirit and through the brothers and sisters that I've met here. Would I have grown in the same way if I'd stayed at home? Or maybe it's just the fact that I need to make a conscious decision daily to live Christ out and be a witness, instead of assuming that everyone else already knows me as Christian.

Anyway, I'll let my words be few. :)

--Amy

All for His Glory?

2010-03-26T02:40:00.003-04:00

I was in my friend's room the other day, and we were talking how they were going to go to Sunday service for Palm Sunday (they're Catholic but don't go to church). Eventually we got into the discussion about the differences between protestants and catholics. Catholic bible had more books, they have a Pope, priests vs. pastors, etc. After a while, one guy in the room was just like "whatever, who cares about the differences- we're all worshiping the same God anyway". We all just responded with an unsure "yeaaaaah..." kind of thing.

This got me wondering about denominations and different religions. I know I've asked this before, but it does still make me wonder if different religions are just severe denominations. Like...if you REALLY think about it, the Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and even the Islamic God are the same...in origin anyway. Everyone at least has the Old Testament in common. The very major differences come within the New Testament. I know that I'm Christian and the difference is that we're supposed to acknowledge and accept Jesus Christ as our Saviour. But I can't help but to wonder what all of this is for other religions (or denominations). I found it interesting how Islam scripture says that all who worship the same god (Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike) will be saved in the end. It's so easy to just write off everyone else sometimes because I know what the answer should be- sometimes I kind of wish I didn't have this Christian bias at hand. No, I'm not questioning my faith- I'm just not good at balancing academics and personal belief.

I don't really have a point. Just some food for thought.

We are God's Original Masterpiece

2010-03-18T17:00:00.002-04:00

God. It's more than just a name, more than just a saying, more than just a bad habit. It's the Name above all names.

It's march break. i know you have 8 minutes and 50 seconds. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyOIBnExlrw

So i got this link off of a friend of mine that i met from fellowship at waterloo. I really spoke to me. I hope you get it too. Comment away! :D

--Amy.

TC2010 Jr.

2010-03-16T23:21:00.003-04:00

So I decided to blog after T.C. which was just an hour ago and this makes me feel like a critic but this year's T.C. wasn't as good to many people that did it last year. The problems about this TC was that there wasn't really a plot this year and many people were put in teams that aren't in the same church so there was a lot of shyness among the gr. 8's. The gr. 8s, because of this, were "out" or never began with spirit. But there were obviously benefits for this TC such as the food(which got better), the bible studies(learning even more about God than last year), the workshops(more interesting and not boring), and especially the worship service which had very new songs to learn. The rest of the TC was almost the same as last year's TC. Overall, I give this year's TC a "7." Pretty harsh right? Well, the best part to me was the bible study which was the hardest to understand but got the point of the passages. As I say when I do puzzles, "The most difficult things are unusually the most fun."

Billy L. :P
Didn't blog for 5 months till now

This is too much thinking for this late at night.

2010-03-12T00:52:00.003-05:00

So I'm sitting here trying to brainstorm an outline for my anthropology essay comparing religions of the world. I'm comparing Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. I decided that one thing I could *easily* compare was the different styles of prayer. So I start my outline, and I'm thinking..."okay, Hinduism and Buddhism use images, etc; Muslims pray five times a day and have a set list of what to pray for; and Christianity....and Christianity..."

How do we pray? I could write that we pray before bedtime, we pray before meals, and that we pray on Sundays. I could write that we pray to give praise and ask for things. I could write that we pray because the Bible says so and that it's what we're taught "to develop a relationship with God". Since I started university, I've taken courses on almost all the major religions of the world- except Christianity. So now it's kind of funny to see the irony in all this. I can give you textbook answers about all the other religions. We're even taught about how people of those faiths feel about praying. So what am I supposed to do now? I could give a Sunday School answer on Christianity and regurgitate how we're supposed to feel about praying...but it feels really fake. I'm actually really glad that I've had the opportunity to learn about other religions because it has helped me reflect on my own faith.

Excuse me while I think aloud:

Why is it such a chore sometimes for me to pray?
Do I ask for too much? What happened to that 'praise' component of prayer?
Prayer's supposed to bring one closer to the holy being- how is my relationship with God?
Do I believe in prayer? Why do I pray? What is prayer to me?

I mean, we've been taught about prayer 2894723 times, but what does that REALLY mean to us? I hope all this makes sense. Basically, I know what the answer is on paper (and I'd probably need to write that since it's "academically unbiased" and stuff), but I WANT to know the biased (Christian) answer. So yeah- just some things to think about.

Also:
I was talking to my friend the other day- it was a pretty deep and heartfelt conversation. She's a person who believes in God, used to go to church, but has some doubts in Christians due to past experiences. She doesn't know if she should have the right to call herself "Christian". So all the time I was talking to her, I kept saying things like "oh yeah, maybe you should go to fellowship with someone else...maybe Sunday service would be good for you" etc. Then after a while, she was telling me about her Christian friend and how she felt encouraged and cared for just because he said "I'll pray for you". Honestly, that kind of made me feel shameful because it's so easy to say those 4 words, but I always think like...I don't want to be *that* kind of a Christian that intimidates people with my Christian-ness...it'd be awkward...etc. But yeah- it actually does help. And that's what the power of prayer can do.

You know what? I'm on a roll. I've actually been meaning to blog for a while.
So one of the things that I'm lent-ing is that I've been reading the Bible everyday for at least 10 minutes. Yeah, that's not a lot of time at all, but it's 10 more minutes than I've been doing for the past few years. Even then, I usually don't go past 15 minutes. I do hope I can keep this up because sometimes I'd pause and go "oh yeah- I forgot God did that! Wow, He's so amazing". Goood stuff.
On the other hand, I have another thing for lent going on. We'll keep it vague enough by saying that it was to give up something I shouldn't be doing, but is very hard to avoid in university. One of my "coping mechanisms" is by deeply thinking about what lent means and what it would mean if I "break it". I'm just gonna leave it at that. Bottom line- lenting this is harder than I thought I would be.

Sorry for the essay- I talk a lot when I'm stressed and pensive.

the book of eli

2010-03-03T15:29:00.003-05:00

Hello :)

I'm not sure if any of you wanted the movie "the book of eli", but it's pretty much about this guy protecting this special book. The setting is.. i think 2030? or sometime in the future. It's basically how the world was all messed up and there was this bomb.. i think... and then a lot of people died, but those that survived have to wear sunglasses at night cause the sun's too bright or something. i think it's because the bomb exploded and it gave off a lot of light.. so their eyes are screwed now. haha, anyway, so there this other guy who's trying to look for THE book that eli has. He believes that will save him and it'll give order to the ruined world, and if he gets his hands on this book, everything will be okay. So he kills and battles and does everything he can do get it.

So guess what, the book is the bible! Pretty easy guess, eh. hahah, but yeah, throughout the movie, i was just thinking of how i view the bible. Is it something that you'd risk your life saving? Do you believe the power that it has? Or do you just leave it somewhere in your room and never bother to read it? What if you never got to read it anymore?

I think that's enough questions for now. If you have a chance.. go see the movie! haha, honestly, it was a crappy movie, but the message was.. good, i guess :)

--amy.

Reading the Great book

2010-02-12T20:35:00.003-05:00

So ya im busy watching the Olympic torch run right now for all who is watching as well. Just watching 30 mins until the beginning of the Olympics got me thinking I should blog, since i didnt do that for a while now.

Anyways, i just wanted to talk about the Bible right now. For many ACI students, u should no that almost everyday we have a 20 min period called DEAR(Drop everything and read), which i assume all of u just sleep or read some sort of nonsense. However, during that time period, i actually read the Bible, which was perfect cuz it's a very quiet time and u have 20 mins to actually read something. This shows y my Bible is pretty dirty in the pages cuz i read it during DEAR for about almost half a year. DEAR is sort of like my daily devotion period since im pretty much busy for the rest of the day.

Anyways, thats not the point. I just wanted to discuss the Bible today. At first, when i decided to read the Bible from scratch to finish (yes im pretty hardcore tryin to read the whole thing and tryin to understand it), i thought it will be pretty boring cuz many ppl say its boring. Actually when i began reading it, it wasnt actually bad and it was pretty interesting cuz in the beginning of the Bible, it was all narratives. At first i just read it for the sake of my boredom during DEAR. However as i started reading, it was pretty amazing. I realize just how amazing and great God is. Other that performing miracles, he punished ppl including the Israelites like a Father when they dont respect him. It changed my view of the Bible from a boring book to a great worthwhile book to read with many things to learn.

Just wanted to encourage u guys to read the Bible more often. It may not be as boring as u think :) and its very good to learn about God's word. Im reading Proverbs right now, try to catch up :)

More later
Al
(P.S. for the fellowship, i still didnt get any Samuel fellowship emails since Jan. 7. So make sure u include my email in the weekly reminder)

Spiritual Disipline

2010-02-12T00:46:00.002-05:00

Wow. So i'm at a loss for words, but i have so much to say.

So starting with my main point. So i was in the shower the other day, and the verse comparing physical training and spiritual training popped into my head. It goes something like this: ⁸For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.1Tim 4:8 (i'm not sure if this is what i was looking for, but the meaning's there.) And i thought of LAST year, when we made SMART goals as a fellowship. I remember mine was to exercise at least twice a week. HAHA. then sometime in June Tina sent out an email to remind us of our goals. I just brushed it off, and forgot about it. But this year i actually started doing something. I've been going to the gym in the morning before my classes with one of my friends every mon/wed/fri and usually saturday as well. Anyway, this is beside the point. So back to the Bible verse. And i was thinking, wow, i'm actually doing SOMETHING and you can kindaaaa see results. haha. And on top of that, i feel so energized and such after i started exercising more. And now i'm like... wow, what if i was this disciplined in reading the Bible daily. It's not just reading the bible, but actually getting down and studying it like it's as HARDCORE as a physical workout. To a point that it's making a significant difference in your life, and it actually takes effort to do it, not just skimming over it. I really hope i can do that. Anyone up for the challenge with me? :):)

OKAY, second point (of many). So CCF has actually been quite hardcore as well. everyweek, they would have a 'question of the week' at the end of each program. The last one was about this dude talking about his faith. He started saying that in order to out reach, we gotta know our own faith and stuff, and answer the questions like 'WHY ARE YOU CHRISTIAN.' then he goes on to talk about how often he gets asked that question by non-christians, and how he tries to explain it. Then he challenged us, to really reflect and think about the MORE important question. "ARE you christian?" I think that's really hard to say. Is there some sort of checklist that makes us christian? Like Anthony's favorite verse, "²¹"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²²Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' ²³Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" Matt7: 21-23. How do you reply to that?

more thoughts:

So i've been quite busy this past week. now that i think about it, i'm a little ashamed of how i've treated this guy that wanted to talk to me. He was saying how he's been having a tough week, 'caught in sin' and 'waiting for God to find him again' kinda thing. At that moment, I think i was just too caught up with myself that i was insensitive to his feelings and kinda just said.. "oh.. well, at least you know that God is there all the time, and everythign will be okay". But really.. when you're upset, how is that gonna help? He needed something more and i didnt give it to him. I'm just feeling.. a little disappointed in myself, i guess. Another thing to work on.

i'll leave for now :) haha, but if you have time, have a listen. it's been on my heart this past week. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nd9QgNao5M REIGN IN US.

love,

--amy. (sorry for the long long post.)

Never Let Go

2010-01-31T13:31:00.002-05:00

So i just came back from church. :) Today i learned a new worship song. And i thought it was just so fitting to how i was feeling today. I'm not quite sure why i feel this way, it's not like i'm in an uncomfortable situation or anything right now, but the lyrics of these songs just really comforted me. :) Perhaps there's something deep inside me that i dont even know. haha. Hope you get the same feeling as i do from hearing this. "And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life, I wont turn back, I know You are near." Whatever you're doing now, dont forget that!

I won’t turn back
I know You are near

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Praise God. :)

-amy.

OH NO YOU NEVER LET GO. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuVQWhCAu4A

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Waiting on letting go

2010-01-17T17:18:00.006-05:00

Hello, it's been a while.

My quest to find a church in Ottawa has ended. I have (for a lack of a better word) 'settled' on the Chinese Christian Church of Ottawa (aka. CCCO- aka. T3C's partner church without the better acronym). I gotta say, it was such a hard process with listing pros and cons- which church had the best location? Which congregation felt the most welcoming? Which message did I feel was best delivered? This went on for months until I got a reminder from a sermon last week- to serve God wholeheartedly- trust Him, even when it seems hard to let go of our own directions and intentions.

So I said to myself last week that I give up. Obviously trying to find a systematic way to decide on a church wasn't working, so I was gonna leave it to God to direct me. I must admit that I haven't been too diligent in the past with leaving my matters to Him, so I didn't really know what to expect or how to listen for direction. So I just prayed. I prayed that when time comes for Him to reveal His plan, that I may have an open heart and diligently follow- even if my own apprehensions were present.

Today, I went to a different church from last week. I had it in my mind that my decision was going to be between the two, so I found myself taking note of different aspects for comparison. I had to keep reminding myself to wait and because God knows what's best- it's not up to me. And wouldn't ya know it, today's sermon was about waiting for God. Bottom line- God doesn't lead us around obstacles, but He walks with us through them. 'Waiting' & 'letting go'- seemed like two concepts that worked well together. Knowing this, it was easier to accept that things couldn't be rushed if it wasn't in God's plan yet.

Long story short, after service, Sunday school, and some bonding over lunch, I just kinda looked around and said "this is where I'm supposed to be". It was as simple as that. All I had to do was let go of the situation and let God open my eyes. Looks like I didn't just get a place to go to church- I got an experience. A wait worth waiting, I'd say.

P.S. I met these people just today and we did lunch. I've known you guys for HOW long?? Our first outting was only a few weeks ago! Reading week. You. Me. Outting. Yeah? Good.
:)

Blog Blog Blog!

2009-12-23T12:27:00.002-05:00

Okay,
i've finally figured out how to set up the blog so that you guys can ACTUALLY blog from your own accounts! hahah, cool eh. took me many google searches to find out how. :) you better appreciate it. HAHA.

So yeah, i think you just need to sign in with your own email accounts (i've sent out invites to your email)
let me know if it works or not. :) no more excuses about how you cant remember the account/password now. hahaha.

btw, it's almost been a year since we started this blog! KEEP IT UP! :) it's nice to hear from you guys,especially when we're away!

happy blogging!
--amy.

Goodbye

2009-12-22T10:52:00.002-05:00

Ya im finally blogging for my 2nd time reason is that nothin rly exciting happened lately so ya something rly important happened yesterday and im gonna blog about it

You guys can probably assume wat my blog is about cuz of the title of this which is "Goodbye." So yesterday night, my entire family was in shock and rly sad last night. At about 7 my grandfather who has lung cancer, was very pale and wasnt breathing. My grandma and dad were all panicing and told me to call 911(for ppl in or near my neighbourhood, it might be the most exciting thing that happened). Anyways in just 10 mins the ambulence police and firefighters came near my house and rushed in to save my grandmother. At that time, i was worried so i prayed to God that he will save him and that he will survive. I was happy cuz about 20 mins later, they finally managed to save him cuz his heart suddenly stopped so they managed to keep it moving again. We were all relieved and so me and my grandma decided to go to the hospital first in guess wat??? A police car! It was pretty exciting in the police car cuz there was a computer in there, which is pretty cool if u ask me. Anyways, back to the topic, when we arrived at the hospital we were waiting for my grandpa.

Unfortunately, when i arrived at the hospital, there was some sort of annoucement that said "Emergency blah...., Code Blue" Reason i highlighted this was cuz one i did not no wat that means(lol) and second im pretty sure it is bad and then my mind started thinking it was my grandpa that was in an emergency condition right now. Also i saw alot of doctors going in to the room my grandpa was in so im pretty sure they need a lot of doctors to save him. Then a doctor came and told us that it doesnt look like he will survive. My heart sank when i heard that. So while we were waiting in the room, i just felt rly bad and prayed to God again to just help my grandpa survive. After a while the doctor told us that he will only survive for only the highest a few hours. All of our family members were rdy and when he passed away at about 9:50 my grandma started crying badly and we were all speechless.

Our family was very sad at that point. After the doctors told us that he passed away i told God that he is on his side now and that i really hope he will get into heaven with God.

So ya im still really sad from the inside and so as my other family members but you guys no that God has set up a plan for everyone and possibly yesterday was my grandpa's ending. I wish i could change it cuz i rly care about him but i realize i shouldnt interfere with God's works so ya.

Guys, plz pray for us, me my bro and my family, especially my grandma who cried for i think at least 2 hours straight in the hospital. i no its long but plz take the time to read it.

-Al

P.S. Never go on a police car. Most uncomfortable car ever. There is no place in the passenger seat so i think this is how the police tortures its criminals in there. Just take this as a motivation to never to anything bad :)

Fallling to my Knees

2009-12-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

So, i like to youtube when i study. :)

--amy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0rBdEYHTEI

Through the fire and through the fight
Through the peril of the night
I will trust You for the promise
Spoken over me

There is nothing left to hide
This is my surrendered life
I left behind all else
To follow only You

I'm falling to my knees
I'm falling to my knees
My faith's becoming sight

For Your mercies are made new
Here Your joy is shimmering through
And I'm living for the promise
that my hope is found in You
You're my strength my only prayer
And all the world could not compare
With the wonders of Your great and mighty love

I am here to find Your peace
I've been looking for relief
I have come because
There's nothing left to satisfies

I'm so taken by Your touch
I could never have to much
And I won't stop till You
take me there to where you are

CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-06T14:05:00.004-05:00

it's almost christmas :D yay! hahaha, today in church i thought of something. We were talking about the virgin birth of Christ, and the guy explaining how we hype Christmas up and yet we forget the most important part: the miracle of the incarnation (God becomes human). Oftentimes we think of how Jesus was born of the virgin Mary in a manger, blah blah blah, and we wonder how that was possible. But we forget the real miracle: God came down on Earth as a human. He said, "we get excited about the box that the present comes in, and pay no attention to the gift inside." I just thought that was a good reminder. :)

FINALS! attack and conquer. :)

see you guys soon!

--amy.

at the mean time, take a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTJdNungGus

"Can I Stay Here Forever"

Through forgotten convictions
Misplaced affections
I'm losing the sound of Your voice
I've been chasing after emptiness
Trying to tidy up this mess
I swear I've been down this road before
I want to get back to where it all began
When I would long for only You

Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt, they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?

I've lost sight of what first drew me
To the love that pursued me
The joy that inspired my song
The friendship that was all I knew
The arms that I would fall into
Seem miles and years from where I am today
I got to get back to where it all began
When I would wait for only You

Can I stay here forever
Here with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I'll stay
Always here with You

Can I be here forever
Here with You?
Can I know what it's like
To deeply love You?
Always, Lord, let me stay
Always, here with You

SEE! I didnt forget :D

2009-11-23T21:56:00.002-05:00

ok so remember a few weeks ago when we had bible study with me and we were going to get kicked out of the church and all
and the topic for bible study was serving God
and remember my challenge? ( cough* you know who you guys are)
well in case u have short term memory, I'll gladly remind you
share some experience you had with serving God
common guys I know you have these experiences
ok so I said I will too and sorry for the delay caught up in school work and all but here I go:

So last night I was " music searching"
its an on going thing I do where once every like month or two I go and search out underground bands and other bands that are cool and exploring genres.
So my friend and I find this band called eleventyseven and she went on wikipedia to find more about it
and right off from the start of the article she asks " whats a christian band?"
and right there! I had my moment
presented to me and all I had to do was take it
and bam! I did
spent a good while explaining that christian bands are bands that have christian influences which are reflected by lyrics or even their attitudes.
then she got confused and I asked her to choose a song from another band
the song? stick stickly by attack attack!
search up the lyrics if you so please
anyways I spent a good hour going over the song with my friend
what it really meant
and kinda shared my views on it
then I went on trying to share about God and how wonderful things are with him
anyways after all that I think I have made progress
I got her interested right?
so that's my recent experience with serving God sharing my faith with a friend
sure I felt awkward and made myself look like a Jesus freak
but hey! I'm proud of that!

so yup
guys I'm still waiting for your sharings :D
-arth

It's easier to study- not so easy to experience...

2009-11-19T16:04:00.005-05:00

Prophetic principle: an attempt to distance the worldly from the sacred.

Anyway, quite a bit has happened since a month ago. Firstly, more church-hopping. So I didn't think so before, but in comparison to the places I've been, I now think that our church is considerably conservative. To put it into perspective- you know those churches you see on TV with huge congregations and animated pastors? Yeah, that. It was kind of intimidating at first, because I kinda felt like the pastor was yelling at us because he was so loud and animated, but I can't say that it wasn't powerful. Especially the open and free "hallelujah's" coming from all directions of the sanctuary. Seeing people so open about their joy in the lord was pretty powerful. It's definitely not what I'm used to, but it was a good experience.

I've been trying to be more diligent with not doing stuff that's in "sinful nature", but (excuse my metaphor) it's like a line drawn in the sand- if a wave washes it away, I might not be re-drawing the line in the same place where it should be. I'm finding it really hard to balance being social and being a good Christian. I've been reading things that say like, not to associate if you know sinful stuff's going on because it's easy to get tempted. Another thing that struck me was that associating with those kinds of people is like being a bystander- you know what's going on, why are you not doing anything about it? If I'm not making any sense, the example that was given was on people using the Lord's name in vain- just because you're not doing it, doesn't give you an excuse for knowing that it's going on and just standing there. So what was my solution to this? Don't stand around. As in, don't be there to stand around. I've really distanced myself from my "friends" (honestly, I don't know what to call them) because I know that the stuff they say and do isn't good for me as a Christian. But now I'm not as close with anyone and just keep to myself all the time. I know I'm doing better spiritually because I've gotten stronger, I just don't know what the best approach to this is and how to balance a spiritual and social life.

So I kinda had to stand up for my faith the other day. In a nutshell, it was basically my friend saying that all religions could frankly be made up, even big ones like Christianity. He wasn't really putting up an argument or anything, but I still felt the need to say something. So I just said "well, there is proof..." and before I could get to anything else, he said that he wasn't arguing and that he knows that it could in fact be true- because he's an Anglican. So this had me thinking like...if I really did have to stand up for my faith, would I have been ready? Well, my nervous feeling was telling me that I probably wouldn't have had enough to stand up confidently. This also reminded me of how many people there are that are Christian by name, but not by actions. Like I've said before, this isn't what I wanna be.

Long story short- I'm having trouble figuring out where to draw the line in the sand. The fact that I'm trying tells me that I've grown spiritually at least.

Interesting, I last blogged on the day of my last religion midterm. I had another one today. I like this pattern I have going. Haha

--Sabrina

Safety

2009-11-13T22:59:00.002-05:00

I know that it's been a while since i last blogged. I'm happy right now. He kept my family safe. Everyday i pray that he would keep my family safe, and it actually is true. Just last week or the week before that, the restaurant that my mom worked in got robbed. Luckily, it was the day that my mom has a day off, but if she had work on that day, she would have to go through being scared at that moment. I just really like to thank God right now, i never thought of these things, but just recently i realized that it was God who was keeping my family safe. I mean the robbers could've robbed the restaurant at any other day, but it just so happened that they robbed the restaurant on the day my mom had a day off.

This blog is really short, i'll try to blog some more. :D

-sherm

Chemistry

2009-11-12T01:11:00.002-05:00

I think im getting crazy from studying chemistry. Seriously, it's all physics :'( This makes me sad.

I saw this when i was doing practice problems though. hahaha. someone tell me the answer ;)

Q: Although einstein made some early contributiosn to quantum theory, he was never able to accept the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. He stated, "God does not play dice with the Universe.' What do you suppose Einstein meant by this remark? in reply to Einstein's remark, Niels Bohr is supposed to have said "Albert, stop telling God what to do." What do you suppose Bohr meant by this remark?

hahah, enjoy. :)
btw, this is me trying to update you on my UNI life. hahaha.
God bless,
--amy.

Warrior

2009-10-24T01:39:00.002-04:00

Today i went to CCF, and we had a special joint program with the Laurier ccf, campus for christ, etc. It was such a a powerful night, and i must say that it was worth my 4 hours.

So we walked over to Laurier (which is literally down the street) in the rain and cold as a group, so i got a little annoyed. BTW, this is like midterm season, so i've been pretty busy lately. The material that i have to cover isnt hard.. it's just the fact that it's a test/midterm. Anyway, that's besides my point. Today's program was a praise and prayer, and we sang 4 songs for liek 45 minutes. It was good, but it got kinda tiring after. haha. But the message was really interesting. So the pastor was talking about we being warriors, fighting as part of God's army (it was from isiah 13 or something) He continued to go on about how we always tend to take things into our control and make it OUR war, instead of God's. Sometimes we think that we're doing God a favour when we serve Him, when in fact God doesn't NEED us to do anything FOR him, he wants us to serve him out of our own hearts. It really hit me when he started talking about serving God with our own strength. When that happens, we usually get burned out quickly and have no passion for His people. But if we are lead every step by Him we will not grow faint. I'm ognna be totally honest and "transparent' (he used this term a lot) with you guys. There was a few periods of time when i really felt that i was going to fellowship out of obligation and duty. I think i was too self righteous at those times, thinking that i NEED to be there. Yeah, i made it more into a 'what i need to do' thing instead of what "God can do through me" thing. The second point he made was on how we THINK we need to reach a certain level of "christianity/holiness" before we can serve God. This got me thinking to VBS when we encouraged the kids to serve. That was a good week, guys. :) You guys need to do it again! hahahah.

Anyway, another thing that they kept saying was "Why are you here?" Not, why do you go to UW or Laurier, nor, why are you on Earth. But why are you HERE, tonight, at fellowship. I guess this is a really different experience than at home. It's so much easier to just skip fellowship here, because there's really no one taking attendance. The fellowship is so big, no one really notices if you miss a week or two. It really takes self discipline to get out of my room and walk over to fellowship with brothers and sisters. For too long, it's been 'if i dont go, Tina's gonna bother me about it' or, ' i need to go cause i need to do devo sharing/worship'. This is about my relationship with God and the family he's put me in here in waterloo. I think that God lead me out here away from home and church was to show me who i need to be and who he really is to me. He doesnt need my half-hearted service, and he definately doesnt want it. He wants me to realize that i have no one else here besides him to provide for me. It was a very humbling experience today to see all these leaders and pastors servning our God with 100% while i think i had it all figured out with my half hearted service. It's not like i can cheat God... haha. It's good to step down and be the one listening rather than speaking. I feel so inadequate now. hahaha. I'm learning.

So i've really lost my point, but today was a very powerful night for me. I swear the whole room was tearing cause the Holy Spirit was just working in and over us, as individuals and as a family. It wasnt emotional because it was more than that. I realy like this quote from gladiator that they kept repeated today. "May what we do in life echo in eternity" We're put here to do something, and i dont want my name to be passed on into eternity as one that served God half-heartedly.

more to come
--amy.

Disabilities

2009-10-23T19:10:00.002-04:00

Today in science, my sci. teacher, Ms. Randall, gave my class a pretty long lecture about doing a presentation. While i was listening to her, my head started to drop lower and i started staring at my desk for no reason. I tried to look at her since this presentation was important but my head dropped again and i was looking at my desk again. This really got me mad and ticked off since im forgot everything from that period. Now i realized that this was really becoming a habit.

This got me thinking, what other habits or mental disabilities do i have? All i can list are these: Can't learn stuff by hearing, short attention span, short term memory loss(not sure)/forgettable, shy and many more(i think). Why do i have disabilities? When did i start having these disabilities? Questions clouded my head. Why does God give people disabilities? Is it because we need disabilities to live?

Forced by curiosity, i checked disability on Google. Mostly, it just had lots of handicapped people with a mild disability such as wheelchair people. They were very weird looking and that's when i figured out why. God created us in his own way; each being unique and special in our own way as well. Everyone should know that they have disabilities even if they think they are perfect(arrogance is a disability since arrogance is like being too proud of oneself, i think) and that we should be happy that God made us like this.

-Billy

P.S., I'm so stupid to not figure that out earlier. If you were lost, my point is everyone has disabilities.

Study the Word

2009-10-15T00:04:00.003-04:00

So if you didn't know, I take an 'Interpretations of Religion' course. One day, we were taking notes on Christianity- like on who Paul was & the difference between books in the New Testament. At the time, I thought that I didn't have to take the detailed notes that my prof had up because I know this stuff already. I had a midterm on Tuesday. While studying for it, I skipped the section on Christianity because "I'm a Christian, I've read the Bible before- I got this".

I did not have it.

The one question that I struggled most with on the exam was about John- why did his testimony differ from Matthew/Mark/Luke's?
a.) He had the earliest records of Jesus
b.) He called Jesus 'Christ'
c.) John's gospel was unique from the 'synoptic gospels' (did not take the same common view)
d.) All of the above

I can't remember what answer I put, but that's not the point. The point was how much I hated the doubt I had in my answer. Why had I been so cocky about it? Just because I've read the Bible does not mean I know the Bible. I guess more than anything, this was quite the eye-opener. Am I just reading, or am I studying the Bible? Am I even understanding? There's a difference. It's kind of a funny parallel here. By not studying the Word, I might get a question wrong on my exam. But also, by not studying the Word, I might have the wrong answer for a trial in life. On a smaller scale, that exam reminded me of what life is like. We think we know God & His Word, but do we really? When it comes time to apply it, will we be able to do it? Will we remember His words? You know how if you do a little pre-test thing by yourself and you flunk and then you're all "oh man, I totally need to study more"? I have that feeling right now.

P.S. just ask if you want the answer to that question.

--Sabrina

Rainbow

2009-10-06T00:45:00.002-04:00

There's been some crappy weather here. Every time I look out the window, there's always a dark cloud looming overhead. The weather also makes me very gloomy for my 8:30am class, haha. So everytime it rains/storms, I hate it. It's also such an inconvenience to bring an umbrella everywhere. But anyway, so on my way home today, I walk out of the building and I see people with their heads bent and pointing. So i'm like "okay.. what the heck?" and when i looked, i saw a rainbow. It was HUGE! It was so pretty and amazing and awesome at the same time. People were taking pictures of it, and a guy that was speaking on the phone said 'Hey, I'm actually gonna hang up now so i can take a picture of this.' I thought it was pretty funny. Everyone was so at awe of this rainbow. It's like they've never seen it before. (Actually, i dont think i've ever seen a rainbow that huge before!)

The first thing that came to mind was 'i wonder where the end is?' since we always hear that at the end of the rainbow is a pot of gold. (haha). Then i thought of how wonderful it was to see such a spectacular sight in the midst of a storm. Then FINALLY, i thought of God. The rainbow was a sign of God's covenant with all life on earth (Gen 9:12-17). It was a reminder for God and us that never again will God destroy the Earth.. etc etc. But i think it also reminds us of how loving and just and merciful God is to us. God has every reason to judge and punish us, but every time He chooses to forgive.

This reminds me of what we studied in CCF on friday night. We read the book of Daniel 9. Essentially it was Daniel praying for the Israelites. I guess the one thing i got out of it was that he was praying "for God's sake", he wants God to be glorified at the end. It was pretty interesting because, really, how often do we pray for ourselves, rather than for God's glory? Ponder that.

On Sunday i went to another church. It's called Creekside Church, and their 'theme/slogan" is 'engage life'. But the cool side of this was that i had to take a bus there. (i've never done that before! hahaha. church is usually only 5 mins away!) So yeah, this church is literally in the middle of no where. It's on a road called "conservation' HAHA. so there's like a little wood-ish place there. But the inside was really nice and modern. Anyway, my point was that when i first walked in, i thought it was a movie theater. It turns out that their 4weeks theme was MOVIES AT CREEKSIDE! It was so cool, there was free popcorn and juice, etc. So what they do is they play clips of a movie and analyze it according to the Bible. This week was 'Les Miserables' (the play by victor hugo) I've never seen it before, but it was really good! the sermon was on grace/mercy and about whether or not we are people of grace or people of the law. I found it really interesting not just because i got to eat popcorn during church.. but it was a very different way of sharing God's word. It felt like it would be more of a fellowship program. But it was so good because everyone was engaged in God's word in a different way. This church has 3 services back-to-back, so there's lots and lots of people there. It was quite different from what i'm used to. Next week they're starting another theme, so i guess there wont be popcorn and movies! :( hahahha, but i'll check out other ones and let you guys know how that goes.

Random thought: during CCF and church service, we sang THE STAND. So it's been stuck in my head for a while. But it's so good. It really makes me think of who God is as the Creator and the Father (like the bible study i lead way back.. in February? haha i dont even remember)

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

--a.

& It feels like home

2009-10-01T21:16:00.003-04:00

I was gonna blog on Sunday, but I'm a very impatient person. And it's more convenient to post now since it kinda ties in with some of the things Amy just posted about.

So for the past 2 weeks, I've been to different churches (Ottawa Chinese Bible Church & Ottawa Chinese Alliance Church). And I'm going to another one on Sunday too, but anyway. The point of "church-hopping" is to try to get a feel for "the right" church. So far, this has not been an easy task. What makes a church "right" for me? I mean that as a serious question! It's hard to prioritize what to look for in a church. Like, at OCBC, I know people from there (from Campus for Christ), so it makes everything easier; but the way service is performed is a bit different that what i'm used to. On the other hand, at OCAC, the church itself is nearly identical to what I'm used to. The whole design (and probably size) is the same as CLBC as well as how sermon is brought about. The only thing is that I found the people a tad unwelcoming. I was with a friend, and we were actually trying to look confused so that someone would just approach us and give us some direction. But no such luck. And as a newcomer (and a slightly antisocial person), it's hard to approach people.

Firstly, I come bearing this message: For a long time, I forgot what it was like to be new. At CLBC during fellowship or whatever, we usually had the volunteers there. I don't think i've ever been the one to try and initiate conversation. Maybe like, after a few weeks. But now that I'm going around to new churches, it's hard to be new! And now, I think it's a lot easier to want to keep going to church when you feel welcome. I understand that it might be hard or uncomfortable to initiate conversation, but it's typically harder for those that don't know anyone else there. So guys, get out there and be welcoming! It's kinda like the first step in outreach.

And secondly, this has so far been a really great experience for me because I was reflecting on my church experiences during this whole process. As I said before, what should i be looking for in a church? You know how we always say "you don't go for the people"? Well, am I gonna go for the building itself just because it reminds me of home?? Maybe I should try a church that's not like what I'm used to? I have no idea yet. But I'll keep you posted.

--Sabrina
(btw, I like to use lyrics for titles. So this one was Home by Sherwood)

Whoa. colourful blog.

Elevation

2009-09-30T22:13:00.002-04:00

I'm supposed to be studying, but I feel like blogging. :)

So it's been.. oh, i lost count, almost a month since i moved to waterloo. I cant say it's the greatest, but i've been doing okay lately. So this sunday i went to church with my ccf group. The church was called "Elevation". Inside the bulletin says something liek this: "Welcome: Getting together like this is a reminder to us all that faith is no something you do on your own. We gather together to build relationships, encourage one another in faith, and position ourselves to be changed in the presesnce of God."

I just found it pretty cool when i first read it that morning. It's a nice church, but i guess im not too used to the way it's ran. So after the sermon, there's this time called 'discussion time' where we gather around tables in groups and have some muffins, etc and share. (there's a list of questions.) I found it pretty coold how they do that because it really does create a sense of unity with the people around. But at the same time, it felt like the service just kinda ended there.. and people just start to leave. It was pretty werid, but hey, i guess they like to do things different. I was nice to experience a different church setting. The sermon was titled 'everything else is trash' and y'know, there's really nothing that can make us any 'better' than each other.But ultimately, everything really does go back to God and what he's done for us on the cross. In phil 3:8-9 it says: What is more, i consider everythign a loss compared to the surpassing greatneess of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness tha tcomes from God and is by faith.

I know you guys are doing some hardcore stuffs this coming months. :) Keep working, enjoy each other, and pray for us as well :)

May God give you guys strength to rise up in every aspect of your life :) You can elevate with me ;) (get it...?)

Miss you guys!
--a.

Read me if you got time, I'm a long blog

2009-09-20T16:34:00.003-04:00

Oh man, everyone blogging excites me and makes me so happy (so very happy)!

So I've officially done everything off both lists that I posted earlier this month. Am I proud to announce this? Not for everything, but every experience has definitely already helped guide me in certain directions.

Today was the first Sunday service that I have ever attended on my own will. Sure, I've been to Sunday services before at CLBC, but only because we had to be there at that time for wild camp. So I went to Ottawa Chinese Bible Church bright and early. But they were moving buildings, so service actually starts at 11:30. It was kind of strange being there at first in a new environment, and I didn't know any of their singspirations or anything. Then there was a "new song" that someone was introducing- Come Home Running. Oh c'mon, could He have made it any more perfect! Seriously, I was just thinking "thanks for the sign". Anyway, the topic was lighter than I expected. It was about like, giving into Christ vs. Satan. One thing that struck me was that like, you don't go looking for trouble if you know it's there because then you're inviting evil into your life. In other words, look to Christ; don't "go" where you know Satan will be in hopes to evade him- because being human, we'll most likely fall into his traps. It was definitely a nice and well-needed reminder.

So I was looking back on my past blogs to track my progress. I had 2 blogs on people saying stuff like "why are you doing that, I thought you were a Christian!" I was hanging out with some people the other night, and I can't remember what we were talking about, but they noticed the cross necklace I was wearing, so they asked me about it, and I said that I was a Christian. Then some of them said that they were too, and others said that they were Catholic. I swear that the first thing that crossed my mind was "no waaaaay". I really didn't think what some of these people did reflected their "religion". I don't wanna be those people. I wanna reflect and glorify God. I guess it's a matter of keeping myself in check to make sure I'm on the right path. So hey, maybe having a few non-Christ-like friends can help me out on this so I can always say "that's not what I wanna be". Hahaha.

One more thing- I went to a cell group (like a little bible study discussion group) on Friday, and I really liked this example that was used to describe what we need to receive Jesus in our lives:
-We need intellect (knowledge/facts), emotion (to feel/experience God), and will (to do God's will)
-That's like a combination lock. If we only have 1 of the 3 numbers, it's really had to get at the solution. If we have 2 of the numbers, it's easier, but it might take a while. If we have all 3, we'll reach the goal in no time.

BLOG BLOG BLOG!
--Sabrina

Evolution

2009-09-19T19:20:00.004-04:00

hey guys, i haven't really blogged this lately even though i've been meaning to, but i keep on forgetting. right now i have tape stuck to my index and my thumb on both hands because of my iaps assignment. and itz not very enjoyable. so maybe now u're wondering why i'm blogging about this.

i'm blogging about this because in iaps class we're learning about evolution. well i know that i'll have to learn about it sometime but i never expected it so soon. everytime i sat in class i go through stuggles to convince myself that evolution never happened. but the way the teacher explains it makes it sound so convincing that evolution really took place (and i guess i get convinced pretty easily), maybe that's also part of the material she needs to teach. even though itz a stuggle i always reminded myself the things i learned from the workshop in one of the fellowship programs. and i guess that not only can i remember the things i learned in the workshop, but also my own life is proof that god exists. when i look back on my life and everything that's happened, it can't just be a coincidence, there's no theory to explain the different things that happened in my life and it wasn't my choice in the first place so definately there has to be a god working in my life. if things turned out differently. and i guess that's also the thing tht i need to remind myself to get through this whole topic on evolution.

(lol, i don't know if i'm making any sense in this blog, i'm not really making any sense today, but i am convinced with creation over evolution. hehe just wanted to share this with u guys)

-sherm

so where are you going?

2009-09-17T22:23:00.002-04:00

I;m sitting here in front of my comp and I'm goign thru my emails
and bam! I see all these blogs
so I decided to finally go and look at all of them
some thing I noticed right away was the change
the change in envrionment the change in lifestyle and this is the part where somethign sparked in me
I rmeber a few years ago
just entering into high school
someone told me that highschool is quite unique experience
its sorta a time where your not only finding where you are goign or where you are bound but more of who you are and what you choose to shape yourself to be
sorta all about change

recently I;ve been thinking over about who I;ve become
I dig through photos and see how much I;ve changed
it gives me memories of the good and bad times
but most importantly of all it triggered something I havent asked myself in a while

how have I changed spiritually?

have I drawn closer?
or have I strayed?
have I let God use me to impact others?
or have I impacted others because of my own selfish desires?

I find that as you go on through life, whenever you enter a different stage and you change, you have to ask yourself these questions
sorta liek checkign up on yourself
asking yourself where are you going? is it the right way?
I guess its improtant to so you dont find yourslef going way off and never even get to realize what is happening
quite sad isnt it?

so I guess bottom line is that I just want you guys to kno just how urget it is to make sure you are on track
to be walkign in the light and be sure of it
to be walking TOWARDS Him rather than away

yup my memory sparks are quite long :P
-arth

Remembering How Good is God

2009-09-16T18:15:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone! I think i would have blogged earlier but Im a very lazy person so i tell to myself to blog later but now, because of my bro nagging me to blog since he feels so lonely blogging himself(lol), im gonna start my blog

Today while thinking about ideas for homework i was also thinking about how God has helped me throughout my life and i just remembered one interesting story to share.

i think it was in late may of 2009 and all the students have summatives to finish.
At lunch my friend said that he needed some help with his summative cuz he was away for like a few weeks so i said yes. I was very HUNGRY so i decided to eat after i finish helping him. It seems like that it took us the whole lunch period and i didnt have time to eat any of my lunch. In otherwords, i sacrificed my lunch just to help a friend whos in need cuz part of the assignment was due after lunch and he didnt even start. Then i realized i had gym and if i have my facts straight, eating means i get more energy and energy allows me to move or somethin like that. My stomach was growling and then when i entered the gym, i realized we had to do the BEEP TEST. Oh man i hate that test.
and since i didnt eat a thing, i knew i will fail it but then a miracle happened. While running the test, i suddenly felt like i had a lot of energy. In the past i usually get 5 for the test but that day i got 6. I start thinking how com this nvr happens to me bak then but then i remembered God and helping my friend.

I think John 3:16 ties in to this experience. he was one of my closest friends so its almost like God loving the world and i sacrificed my lunch and its like God sacrificing Jesus.

Well i hope u like my first blog. Ill blog more soon

Al

Moving On

2009-09-15T21:26:00.002-04:00

Hey, this is Billy again. I have some spare time so i decided that i should use this time to blog since i didn't blog in a few months. Anyways, based on the title, i think you should know what i mean by "Moving On." Well, its about high school (quite obvious).
Ever since high school started, it was a very difficult time for me. I had new teachers, many new classmates, and more things to learn. I had to walk to classrooms that are very far from my locker and other classrooms as well. I barely had any friends in this school since practically all my friends went to ACCI (Albert Campbell Collegiate Institute). I was always late to classes in the first few days of classes since it was pretty hard to find the classrooms when they are practically off the school map(that's how far the classes were). I guess it was pretty tiring and stressing for me in the start of the new school year. All I had to do was adjust to the new school environment and forget what i did at Henry Kelsey. But i just can't, Kelsey was a part of my life which was important to my self-esteem at the time. After realizing that, i even had regrets to go to ACI instead of ACCI.
After going to Sunday service at Church, I realized that through the stress-less faces on everyone there, it made me a little more confident and if they are used to high school then so would I. God lead me through this path for me to learn a lesson, "Don't give up no matter how hard it is."

Secure

2009-09-15T20:55:00.006-04:00

So this isn't really a big thing. Apparently, at the end of the school year 2009, my school's guidance schedule for almost 75% of the grade 12 students had difficulties sorting out the courses and such. I'm not exaggerating. At first I was thinking it's another one of those little mistakes where they will fix before school starts and everything would be okay. Anyways, on registration day, I got my time table for semester one and semester two. I checked. I had all the right courses and every course in every semester balanced. Everything worked out fine. Later on, I went over to my group of friends. They were all worrying and panicking because guidance screwed up their schedule. Some didn't have the course they need and some had overlapping courses. Just a reminder, all of my friends including myself are all grade 12s. Obviously, we will go crazy if we don't get the right courses for our last year. In the end, my friends solved their situation by dropping other courses, adjusting to it and stuff.

Yeah. At that moment, I realized that my schedule was just right. I felt so happy and "safe" I don't know what's the word, hm maybe secure? In my head, i was just thinking : God planned this. He did this. Everything was just right.
And I was worrying so much about course selections in March 2009. All this reminded me of the bible study (Jeremiah 29:1-11-14?) Jackie taught a while back ago. Yeah, notice the emphasis on verse 11. haha. But yeah, I prayed for my friends as well because I really do not want to see them suffer in their last year. And now, everything just worked out fine as God planned.

K

Home Sweet Home

2009-09-15T00:04:00.002-04:00

So now that i got a personal email from Tina, i will blog. hahaa. i've been meaning to, but i've pushed it back til now.

I guess i'll do a little recap of my first week here: I went to frosh. hahaha that's it, really. We were divided into our faculties, then into small groups and we just played games, walked around campus, talk to upper years... etc. the ususal stuff. It's pretty fun. we went to this conservation area near guelph and played sports there and stuff. it's a campground, and it's pretty nice! haha. so yeah, tha'ts all i did the first week. xP We also had dances and stuff.. seriously, i went to 3 dances in 4 days. it was so crazy. but it was fun, i suppose. Sometimes it's kinda nasty cause there's so many people.

Anyway, so i went to ccf (chinese christian fellowship) today and it seemed pretty nice. the people are nice and there's a lot of them! so i have a feeling it's gonna be a good year! it's kinda different to have fellowship with such a large group, but i guess we'll split off into smaller groups, but yeah, it's different to be the one not speaking rather than the leader :P it's a good change. hahaha.

As for devo.. i've been starting at exodus again because the OT is so much fun. haha. it's very different from reading NT cause it's not as explicit. but it's nice. :)

I dont have much else to add... So i'll see you guys later, hopefully!

This is why we blog (pt.2)

2009-09-06T20:51:00.004-04:00

So back in May, I blogged about why we blog and how we do it. It had some stuff about making lists, goals, and doing things like writing a letter to God.

I said back then that I'd do it eventually. This is eventually.

Fyi, this is my second day at Carleton. I've already cried. Ridiculous, huh. Except I thought it'd be weird if i was bawling my eyes out with my roommate here, so I tried to keep it to a minimum. How? I opened up my Bible for the first time in...maybe a year, seriously. Now I didn't know what to turn to (but i must admit, Matthew 6:25 was going through my head- aka. 'Do not worry'), but I remember in a SIC (Sisters in Christ, aka. my group of friends getting together once in a while to fellowship) we were supposed to read the book of Ruth, but i never did. So I read the book of Ruth. Okay, I must admit that I didn't really get what I potentially was supposed to out of it, but just having the Word of God was comfort enough. Actually, this is what I needed for a wake-up call. To be nearly completely alone so that I would look to God. Heck, I didn't even look to God- I SEARCHED for Him.

My to do list (for this week as confirmed by my roomie):
-Get to know people.
-Party.
-Drink.
-Get to know people while partying and drinking.
-Leave our door open so that we can meet more (drunk) people- (we just shook on it)

MY to do list (what God wants me to do):
-Get to know people.
-Get to know people that will be a good influence on me.
-Get to know people that I can fellowship with

Alright, so from those 2 lists, I've kinda done stuff from both. From list 1, we've been leaving our door open, that's all. From list 2, I know a few people that are Christian, but it's still early so it's kind of hard to bring church up right now, but it's frequently at the back of my mind.

So guys, pray for me! I need a ton of strength and courage right now.

P.S. i miss you tons already.

[[edit:: So I was just reading Sept.7's Our Daily Bread entry and it was about unanswered prayers. The bottom line was that some prayers are meant to be unanswered because it's not in God's will because He knows what's best for us. So this is gonna sound super-antisocial, but hey- maybe I wasn't meant to do all of that stuff on List 1 right now. In fact, maybe I'm supposed to be antisocial right now so that I'm not meeting people that will steer me the wrong way.
Dang, I forgot how awesome the God & His Word could be!

--sabrina

The Gifted Ones

2009-08-29T21:44:00.002-04:00

Hello y'all,

What a cool way to connect with every one from Samuel fellowship! This is my very first post on the blog. The reason I waited this long to blog is because I haven't encountered anything inspiring enough for me to put much thoughts on it. But today, I finally came across something that was so invigorating and powerful that I felt the urge to share it with everyone.

I was randomly flipping through the channels when I landed on channel 36 (yes, it's the Chinese channel). It was a documentary on a family of six. The parents are highly educated - actually both of them received their Ph.Ds. Their four kids ( I believe one older son and three younger daughters) are very gifted.
[Detour: a little background information for you on gifted children, gifted people have an IQ of at least 130. About 3-4 children out of 100 are gifted in the general population, but to have all the kids in the same family to be gifted is a ratio of 1 : 1 million in the whole world. ]

So, the parents of this family are faced with challenges that average families would never face. For starters, they have to raise their four gifted children very differently from others (their son attended university at the age of 9). The parents have gone through all the parenting books, however, they are not exactly helpful since the books were written for the general population with average IQ. After having read many books and guides on how to raise a family full of gifted kids, the parents finally settled on ONE book that they believe their kids should study wholeheartedly - the Bible. And the moment I heard "the Bible", I was thinking "are you serious?" Maybe Bible wasn't exactly the book I was anticipating, because I've always thought gifted people would read mountains of books on rocket science or something not so popular among the people. But the Bible, it is relatively accessible to the general public and the content is comprehensible to average people.

So why this book out of millions of other published books? The Ph.D parents explained, the kids have to know why they are alive on this earth and realize that there is a Great One who created ALL things on earth. All humans are created differently with their own uniqueness and there is a reason behind every existence. Gifted or not, we should simply appreciate what we have and make use of our talents/strengths to serve the Lord, carry out His plans. The Ph.D parents are now nearly 70 years old and are touring around to give presentations on how to raise kids, especially gifted kids. They truly felt the blessings from God as they tasted the fruits of their labour. All of their kids are apparently successful in their careers and have their own families. I am convinced once again that God is the guidance for those who believe in Him. So it might take a few decades to truly experience God's work in plan, but don't ever lose faith in the One and Only who unconditionally loves us as we are.

{L. Wen}

& somewhere out there

2009-08-29T01:33:00.003-04:00

So here i am sitting in my room at 1:30am. Apparently it's pouring rain outside, but I cant feel or hear any of it. Is my house really that strong and protective that even the loudest storm can't wake me up?

I was just thinking of my comfort zone. All these years, i've been with pretty much the same group of friends. Sure, there's been fights and disagreements, but in the end, everything's okay. And school's been pretty much just another way to kill time. Sometimes we really lose ourselves in this world. Who am i today? Why do i need to make an effort to do this and that? Why should i bother with homework, with friends... with God, even. I don't know about you, but everyday seems to be just another day.

But there's so much more out there. When im in my room, everything seems fine. But beyond those bricks is a storm (or some sort of it). And school is much more than just a place to kill 7 hours. Once you realize that God has placed you in the school(and churhc) to DO SOMETHING, then you'll see the importance of it. It might just be chilling with your friends and cheering them up when they're upset, or keeping them accountable. You have a role in people's lives, and so do those around you. It's time to take care of others, and let them take care of you.

There's so much out there. Beyond the walls of my house is a storm. I dont know about you, but it's time to let yourself out there and experience what's going on rather than hiding inside your room. Yes, you need to observe, listen, share.. but mostly you need to DO something.

--a.

I miss you.

2009-08-25T00:52:00.003-04:00

Since we're on a roll of being honest...

There's been so much that i wanted to blog about, but i keep forgetting. :(
So if you were there on Sunday, Tina preached on Malachi, and it was pretty much about our worship attitude. Not only on why/how we worship God, but God's response to our worship. Y'know, God might be saying "Yo, i dont like the way (s)he is worshiping me." And it just really hit me. Personally, I dont like admitting that i'm wrong. A lot of times, I woudl and will find a way to make myself look like im right, even if im at fault. But is that gonna work with God, who sees right through me? There's really no way to hide.

Again, I need to confess something. So since summer started, I havent exactly done devo, the kind of devo that i did during school. I've come to realize that during the summer time, there really isnt a "need" for me to search for God because I don't encounter any challanges. When I'm at home, I just sit and chill and watch dramas. When I'm at work, well, we do our own little devo time in the morning. And work is really chill, so there's not much difficulties there. There really hasnt been anything that challenges my faith these past months. And I think that just keeps me drifting away from my devo time and my prayer time. I'm still trying to work on this. One of the reason that i'm looking forward to school again is that i KNOW I'll need God's guidance and wisdom, so I'd be doing my regular devo again. hahaha.

Like we asked at wildcamp, Do you see the need to outreach? But i guess a better question right now would be : Do you see YOUR need for God? Because if you dont, how can your listeners understand and believe in what you tell them, when you yourself are unsure?

I wonder if God misses me. Cause I think it's time to go back.

--a.

Come home running

2009-08-19T18:18:00.004-04:00

A month ago, I was frustrated with God.
A few weeks ago, I began to lose faith.
A few days ago, I refused to pray when I was alone.

Today, I checked the blog for the first time in a month.
Today, I added the Bible as an essential to bring to Carleton.
Today, I swear I'll take a break from running.

Hello, it's been a while.
It's funny how a job that was supposed to bring me closer to God made me stray farther away. Honestly, I think it's because of my nature- it felt like I HAD to be a strong believer because it was part of the job. When I feel like I HAVE to do something, I become resentful of it. So then I was just stuck in that mindset for a long time. To add to that, because I was still teaching bible stories for VBS without really believing, it killed me even more because now I felt like that everything was such a lie.
I bet you didn't know that I hate birthdays. I hate birthdays because I always think back on the previous years- not the good stuff either, all the crap that happened. So now I'm blaming God not only for things that happened to me, but my inability to deal with it.

So I came to a little realization...well actually, I knew it all along, I'm just more willing to admit it now: I chose Carleton because it's far. I think I've told everyone that. Yes, far away from parents, friends, hopefully the past, and church (the literal CLBC church). I guess I figured it'd be easier to run from God if I didn't feel obligated to go to church here- especially if I was unmotivated to find a church/fellowship in university.

But through all my wallowing in my sorrows, I've always though, "is God doing this because he thinks this is gonna make me run to him harder and faster?" I guess so. I'm stubborn, but I know when to give up. I can choose to ignore, but I know when I'm given a message. It's 20 days until moving day, and I'm a tad mortified. This is what I get for making an irrational decision in an (non-alcoholic) intoxicated mind. Why did I choose somewhere so far that I'll have to be for the next 5 years? I can't leave it all behind. And now that I can't with me home, friends, or family, I'll take God with me. Because that might be all I have, and that might be all I need.

So I'm going to keep running from my past for a while. And God, I need to take you with me during my marathon. Because we all know I can only run so far before I need to stop.

--sabrina

Missing Bird

2009-07-22T00:39:00.003-04:00

A baby bird is missing. Please return it to house 36 or 38 if you see it. It's a baby. It cannot fly.

So that's what I got in the mail yesterday, just a plain 8.5 by 11 sheet written in purple marker with a few spelling mistakes here and there. But somehow it made me think a lot. As I was strolling down my street, I realized that I knew the kids that wrote the "letter". They're only in SK and grade 1 this year, but what really struck me was their genuine passion for this missing baby bird. As a kid, I wouldn't think that they would have the energy and willpower to write so many missing posters by hand to try to save this bird, but they did. There are even signs on the lamp posts asking for people to look out for their baby bird. I found it so cute and powerful. I mean, what would I have done? Probably just sit, cry, and move on. Maybe get a fish or something. But they really loved their bird!

What I wanna say is that we should have this same passion. We were talking about conviction and such today, and I wonder if I have such conviction as to tell the world (or even just my neighbours) that I know Christ and what He's done for me. I remember someone saying (probably Antz) that we shouldn't be childish, but child-like. For me, this missing bird incident really exemplified the meaning behind that saying. I mean, we dont have to make posters to prove our faith, but it really does take no effort to say "Hi, I'm Amy, and I believe in God," when you meet someone.

Man, I love kids. They teach me so much.
--a.

Televised prayer

2009-06-16T22:55:00.002-04:00

So I was watching TV the other day, and I was just flipping through the channels. Then I saw an infomercial about a "financial seed". So the reverend was "preaching" about how people should buy a financial seed for $100 and expect 7 days of miracles in return.

At first, I instantly thought, "wow how can people believe this?" then I tried to think of reasons why. He did a pretty good job of attacking disbelief and questions about morals. Like, he said that "it's not buying miracles, it's an offering...after all, people like Isaac made offerings and got miracles in return". What I found most interesting was his prayer. He started off by bowing his head and saying something like, "Lord, help these people by..." and then a little later, he looked up and started marketing the sale with "...that they will want to donate this offering and they can believe in Your 7 days of miracles". Then he bowed his head again and ended with "in Jesus name, amen". I found this interesting how he turned prayer into an infomercial. It makes me question how people view Christianity. I mean, where is this money going to? Does he think he's serving God by using his resources to call out to people? And I think this is also one of those Christian stereotypes- the televised donation. So yeah. I know that there are quite a few branches of Christianity/Catholicism, so where does "believing" and "serving" begin and end?

--Sabrina

Friends?

2009-06-14T22:02:00.010-04:00

So..., I'm the third last one(Teresa and Alan didn't blog yet) to blog and I'm not sure how to blog since i never blogged before. Anyways, I'm blogging because I'm bored and no one has been blogging lately so here goes.... Lately, my friend and I weren't really talking to each other, in fact, he has been ignoring and this was what happened.

Last week, i was at Cantonese school and he was practicing tae-kwon-do on me. For self-defense, i hit him (accidentally, not on purpose) and he says it hurt really bad(there wasn't a bruise or a cut, by the way) and also his tae-kwon-do moves hurt double as much of what i did to him so i don't know why he's complaining about that. After that, he went back to his group and told his group mates that he should 'get new friends'(note that he is, in fact, an atheist. I know because he told me. Also, he is a honour student and he talks behind people's back like the time he wrote a quiz about his teacher being a total fail since she always make mistakes in a class. That teacher is my history/geography teacher, i don't care if she makes mistakes and she is a christian. I know because she told my class and many others.).

Obviously, i felt kind of offended because that was kind of 'mean' to say that I wasn't a very good person. In the next following days or next week, every time i tried to talk to him, he ignores me and gives me the silent treatment. He evens spends more time with his other friends than me like he used to. I tried to ask him why he wasn't talking to me but he didn't give an answer. When i got back home on Thursday, i started my computer and noticed that he replied to a quiz on FaceBook in a negative way and that really lowered my hopes of still being friends.

Its almost the end of the year and I still want to be friends with him even though he is going to ACCI(Albert Campbell) and I'm going to ACI(Agincourt). So can you please pray for me and him to give me strength to confront him and discuss the problem.

Thanks and hope to see ya at fellowship and Sunday school! :]

-Billy

P.S.:If this post looks weird, don't blame me, this is my first post.

In Need of God

2009-06-06T01:11:00.001-04:00

Hey, lookies! My first blog here! :D

So anyway, the reason why I'm blogging here is because, well, I have this friend, who I believe desperately needs to have God in her life..

I mean, she's had all these problems for a long time. They stress her out and they've made her into a very unhappy person. She seems happy on the outside, but she's always thinking negatively about things, not believing in herself, and only depending on her friends to help her get through. So right now, I'm talking to her on MSN and stuff, and she mentioned how I don't need to worry about the things that she has to.

(Before this, I had been telling her how she needs to think positively, everything has a positive side and that she can't always think that there will be someone to guide her when it comes to things like this because sometimes there won't be anyone. (Keep in mind that this friend is a non-Christian, although she has Christian beliefs and is practically a Christian-yet-not-a-Christian, 'cause that totally made sense, yeah.))

Kay, so back to the worrying about things. I told her that, sure, yeah, I do worry about things, but for those things, I trust my friends and myself to work on getting through it, and for the other things, I need to learn to trust myself to be able to fix it, and that that was the part that she needed to learn. I then asked her about what kinds of problems she meant and she said "School.. Life... Everything." I told her, that she needs to make attempts to fix them, to think positively and trust that you wil pull thorugh, but she said that she didn't know how to fix them, how to pull through and that she can't even control most of these things.

So I told her, that that's why she needed to have trust... but she didn't know what to trust, "Trust what? The air?! ..." was her response. I told her, that I trust in myself and in God. But she isn't Christian, so she didn't even know what to say to that. Her response (quoted, from just now): "I don't even know what to say to that... I'm not Christian... -_-"

This whole time, I was thinking, she really needs to be introduced to God. For myself, when I have problems, I pray to God and know that eventually, he will help me pull through. Right now, I think that this friend of mine REALLY needs to find God in her life... so you guys, if you can, pray for her please. And I haven't even replied to what she said, because I don't know how to tell her that I think she should become a Christian.. maybe I'll just say it. o___o

So yeah, pray for her! :)

Thanks!

- Vessi

EDIT: I posted this at 11:11! xD

A sad kind of bliss

2009-06-04T23:38:00.004-04:00

So please bear with me because I'm kind of at a loss for words right now, but I felt the need to blog. Today was a tough day. My friend's been having some problems, so during class, me and a teacher sorta gave her an intervention. It was just...hard because I didn't know what to say or do. I said all that I could in worldly terms, so when I ran out of things to say, I knew it was time to bring up God. See, this friend was one of the people that helped introduce me to Christianity. Now to see her so far away, it really struck me deep. I even said to her, "you helped save my life, now I want to help save yours". If you're been following my blogs, you know that I've shied away for a while from the opportunity to outreach. I didn't want to let this opportunity go. At all. Again, it was hard because I didn't know what to say to her rebuttals. It's not even a matter of her not understanding the concepts, it's a matter of her having tunnel vision. Like, I would say "you gotta stop doing this to yourself because you're a temple of God". Then she responded with, "why can't I be a beautiful temple". Like dang, I didn't know how to make it about God because this whole discussion was based around her. So anyway, we also had a talk with the teacher who is also a Christian. After a while, we prayed together, and that's when I basically broke down. The last time I cried during a prayer was out of sadness. This time, it was out of passion. Yes, the situation was killing me, but I was also glad at the same time that I'm able to be apart of this. I don't even know how to explain it, but I literally felt like we were crying out to God so passionately.

Then later that day we had T4C, and during the prayer, I started crying to out of pure joy. I was so thankful for all that I have been blessed with. To have the opportunity to be a part of this religion. For all that I've been apart of. I have a really strong attachment to school fellowships because that's where I feel like I became.

I gotta say that I'm a little traumatized by today's events and I'm over emotional and a mess of emotions. Almost hysterical. I'm kind of laughing and crying right now. In the middle of this blog, I just started praying. It felt awesome.

-Sabrina

My Punishment

2009-05-26T21:06:00.002-04:00

This time my blog will be short. Well it all started off with my bad habit (being late sometimes) that started all of it. Well now i will really try to be on time for everything I have to go to. I don't know if any of you guys know this.. but I'm on tracking rite now. For those who don't know what tracking is, you get this sheet from the office at school and you have to be on time for every class and finish your homework and etc. You only get this sheet if you're late a certain number of times. I'm not really sure how I got this tracking sheet but i did. It is soooo weird cuz i looked at my number of lates and mine wasn't that many because it only filled up like 1 quarter of the page while I saw other ppl's lates filled up one whole page. But I've been thinking.. maybe this is a punishment from God. Today in drama class people were like you're still on tracking and I was like yup, it's a punishment from God and I literally meant that. I still have one more day to go, but I definately learned my lesson there.

-sherm

Two steps forward and one step back

2009-05-12T23:41:00.002-04:00

I bet you didn't know that I'm afraid of holidays. I'm afraid of holidays because most of them come with a personal "attack" on my faith. Christmas and Easter- I know that's my fault. I have a hindrance that's preventing me from going to service that I can't explain, so when my mom questions me about it, I lie and say that service is at another, larger church in a farther location. Then I get a slight lecture about these holidays being the holiest, which I know. I didn't expect this lecture to come on Mother's Day though. So I didn't get my mom anything, and I was especially bitter and irritated by the fact that she was expecting something- and openly said it. A while after, she said something along the lines of, "you go to church- shouldn't you be more considerate?" And I just stared at my food. Like all the other times this has happened to me, I didn't know how to respond...to this especially. My actions totally do not reflect the church. I thought about it, and I must admit that I'm not big enough to admit that it's just my problem. This incident has caused me to realize that when situations like this arise, I suck at apologetics. At this point, it's probably not even a matter of knowing what to say, it's a matter of having the courage to say it. However, I am glad that I realized this.

On a better note, I just finished having a good chat with one of my friends and I was inspired to blog. I was saying how I was inspired to be more forgiving. For you Samuel people, I don't know if you remember the video "Baggage", but there was a line from that that really stuck with me. It was something along the lines of, "what if God said 'I can't forgive you- what you did was just too horrible'". I can honestly say that I've let go and forgiven people who hurt me, now I'm just sorry that I wasted time by not realizing this sooner. My friend's in a similar situation, and I'm glad I found the time to share this with her. So then, we also talked about how we take our relationship with God for granted- like that concept of praying when we need something. And we're both thankful that we have the privilege to be with a group of friends where most people are Christians. There's no doubt in my mind that things would be very different if I hadn't fallen with this group.

My goals for before/during university: Stay strong about my faith. Learn to stand up. Remember this feeling.

I titled this entry "Two steps forward and one step back" because I feel like those two steps are coming to the realization that I need to strengthen my faith and having the feeling of being thankful for being forgiven. My one step back is not yet being strong or brave enough to stand up for my faith. I'm sure this will arise again, so hopefully then I can do something about it.

Yours truly,
Sabrina

Praise the Lord :D

2009-05-12T23:27:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I just feel like blogging so that'll encourage you to.

So today I really felt that God's working in our lives. I have this friend who's still waiting for her uni acceptances. It's been kinda nerve wrecking for her (and me) because the deadline to accept an offer is in 2 weeks-ish, and if you dont have any offeres.. you're kinda screwed. So for a while i've been praying for her because i know she can do it. But the thing is.. she applied to really hardcore programs. Her marks aren't bad, just not good enough for such hard core stuffs. So today at lunch, she tells me she got an alternate offer! Hey, it's still good! She was telling me how she was getting a bit desperate, y'know. And she asked God to hurry and give her SOMETHING. And she even went to a point to negotiating with God, in a way. "God, if you do this, I'll..." And I'm sure many of us have done the same thing. But she told me how she realizes that's not the way to get things from God, but she's just very relieved that God's opened a door for her. It wasn't her first (nor second, i think), but no matter what, God's gonna give us the best that he thinks. This reminds me of something that we talked bout in t4c last week. This guy was telling us how God doesn't work the way people work, etc. and how our attitude should be "God, I'll follow You EVEN IF ... " instead of "If You gimme this, THEN I'll..." I thought that was a really great reminder of how important our faith is, and how we definately need to know God before we can follow Him. :)

So the verse i was talking about last week ( i think?) is found in proverbs. I read it a few days ago in devo:
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I hope your spiritual journey's going well. It'd be great if you blogged about it :P

-a.

look, another blog!

2009-05-05T23:30:00.002-04:00

yeah, im just blogging cause there's been a roll of posts. i like this. :)

So guys, come to the concert on WED, may 6, 7:00pm at aci. (midland/sheppard) it's gonna be really good, and it's jackie's and my last concert, it'd be cool to see you guys there :)

So today we were just chilling with martine and tom, our coaches from TC. it was pretty fun, cause we were just sitting there, just chatting away. i think it's kinda out of the ordinary, and at first i was kinda hesitant to go because i had to go to the concert at 6:30 and since there was just so little time, i felt that it was gonna be a waste of time. But it turned out to be just a relaxing, chilling time. and it kinda reminds me of how we spend time with God. I mean, sometimes we go like "oh.. it's already midnight, i'll do devo tmr night instead." or in the morning "oh.. i only have 5 minutes to spare.. nah, it's not enough for me to do devo/pray." And we were dicussing this during t4c one day, and we concluded that no matter how much time you have, that shouldn't prevent you from reading God's word. I mean, it should be the number 1 priority on your list, and everything else should come after. Perhaps a few minutes of reading the Bible could get your day started in a different way, change our perspective for the day.
I'm gonna try that one day. :) I'll let you know how it goes.

--a.

This is why we blog.

2009-05-05T16:10:00.002-04:00

I must say that I've been VERY excited to blog about this one.

First of all, I might sound like a creeper for this. But on the plane coming back to Toronto, I was sitting beside a woman who was using her laptop. So my eyes kind of...wander. She plugged in her iPod so her iTunes popped up, and I like seeing what kind of music people listen to because I think that it says something about someone. So I'm blind, and didn't want to stare, so I saw the word "God" in one of the songs. So alright. Then she opened her documents, and I saw the word "sermons". So I'm kinda growing interest. I told you this would make me sound creepy. Then she opened something up, and by looking at it, I can tell it's a journal. Not just any journal, a SPIRITUAL JOURNAL. like this blog.

I really liked her format and how she approached the journal. She used a variety of ways. I really liked how she kind of wrote a "letter to God" as I call it because it would start off with a question like "God, what are you trying to tell me about ______?" then she would write out her thoughts about the issue. I also found her list format interesting. First, she would have something like "My hopes for the future", then after that list would be "What God wants for my future". That's an awesome way to compare. There was quite a bit about what she wants, then what God wants. I think that's really thoughtful because you can visibly see where priorities lie.

I was also kind of inspired by the fact that she's in or around university age (i saw the word OSAP) because I kind of have the mindset that it takes half a lifetime to be this committed, but realisticly, steps and depth are different for everyone. But i did find it interesting that she was in university because it's so close to our age, so c'mon guys, we can do it! it's not like she blogged EVERY day. Probably just when something was on her mind, which was even once a month sometimes. At the end of this, I swear that I had the urge to thank her, but that's way weird. So I settled for letting her use my tray table so nothing spilled on her laptop. haha. Oh, and I'm guessing that she was looking over her journal in order to gain some perspective about something using her past journals- that's why we started this!

Anyway, in conclusion:
-BLOG BLOG BLOG!!
-Lists and letters are a good way to organize thoughts
-Blogging doesn't have to be very frequent, but please blog occassionally.

I'll blog using that format soon.
Sabrina

Forever 3:16

2009-05-05T15:49:00.002-04:00

So along my trip, I made sure to remember the things I noticed/experienced. First of all, I've never noticed this in Toronto- or maybe it's just present in the States, but at the bottom of Forever 21 bags is 'John 3:16'.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

I must admit that I'm not the best at all at memorizing verses, and I haven't looked at this one in a while. At first, I thought that the verse might have something to do with ethics that connects to a company policy. Upon further research (as in, looking up the passage), my thought is that it's simple and smart outreach. 'John 3:16' being printed on the bag doesn't take up much space, and it's subtle enough so that those that get easily offended by religion are okay with it. And who knows how many people actually search it up. I just thought it was awesome how the owners are using the store's fame for good.

Secondly, we were in an Italian restaurant whose placemats were of important dates for a few months, and one of the dates was Lent. It doesn't really seem like a big thing, but for me, I find it kind of amusing when I see things like this because society's so like, "don't talk about religion because it's politically incorrect". So i just like when I see religious references (small or big) out in the open like that. Maybe I'm just noticing it more when I go on vacation, and it's no secret that they're more religious in the States, but man. It makes Canada seem so restricting. It's kind of funny how equality all of a sudden became a taboo for religion.

Just a small sharing. More to come,
Sabrina

the days of old...

2009-05-04T01:06:00.002-04:00

Hey...

so i m blogging here... cause i feel obligated to i suppose... cause i havent been blogging here or on the uni-page... and i feel a sense of conviction that i need to invest myself into ur lives more and read about what's going on w/ ur lives. cause the last 2 blogs r long and i just get turned off by long blog entries... but dont let that discouraging u from typing long ones... i will make more of an effort to read them because i value ur experiences and struggles as a Christian.

Something I've been noticing is that looking at you guys, it reminds me a lot of the things that we, the UNI group, went through when we were in samuel.. first, is our tardiness... we were often late because we. as a group, justified it by saying, "o it doesnt start till 8:20" so we all just kept pushing it later and later... and 2nd, worship leader would always do some spontaneous song choices, picking the day of because we have Christine and she can play anything... and we took that for granted...

Yes, i m jumping straight to the point because there's no point in me beating around the bush and i dont know how to.... i pray that you guys r noticing too... when we were part of samuel, we raised it up as a group... we talked about it, said, "no, it's not right... there's no respect on our part for God if we keep doing this" .... so we worked on it... I believe you guys need to do something similar... i dont expect you guys to change over night... and one thing i wouldnt like is u guys being on time because i've just raised it and then couple weeks down the road, returning to old habits... Tina and I would not like to keep having to talk and nag at you guys about it... you guys r growing and maturing quickly these days and we want to treat you as maturing adults..

secondly, with regards to worship, I can understand if you guys REALLY REALLY like Cry in my Heart... and I can understand you want to choose it if you have a good sharing with it... but i believe there are many songs out there to be chosen and share about the same sharing.. cause from my perspective, it shows a lack of creativity and willingness to spend time and look for songs to share with one another... and it gives me the impression that the guitarist knows this song the best so they dont need to practice, and hence, if Cry in my Heart is chosen, it will go well during worship.... but in doing so, the quality of singspiration gets taken away... i believe if different songs are chosen, it keeps things fresh, everyone gets exposed to different songs and the instrumentalists get to learn and practice new songs.... i challenge you to spend more time preparing to for worship... and not just doing it cause ur name is in the slot for that day... i challenge you to think of why you're doing it... and with the summer coming up, "i dont have enough time to prepare" is not a justifiable excuse for the lack preparation... if we are to offer our best to God, don't you think we should prepare? a team does not make it to the finals without practice, a band can not play at concerts without practice, i dont see how we can worship our God without practice...

my suggestion is that the worship leader should communicate with his/her instrumentalist a week before.... so the instrumentalist can have adequate time to practice..

ok, it's late... almost 2 and i have work tomorrow... hopefully fellowship can start more promptly this coming friday... and i will try my best to be there at 5.... but in the case that i come at my regular time, i hope singspiration is not just beginning...

- J Lo

p.s amy, please send all emails to jlokine@gmail.com... i dont know where you've been sending emails to cause i havent been getting any....

Luggage

2009-05-03T20:08:00.004-04:00

As demanded by Tina, here are the reflection questions based on the clip we saw last week. Feel free to watch it again and comment even if you weren't there! :D

http://www.esnips.com/doc/8205edd1-638c-491b-8b3a-0e0b688cb481/Luggage--Rob-Bell

"You thought you were over it but now you're more into it than ever and the wound is reopened and it hurts more than ever, and then it becomes a day or a week or 10 years later and now it's become a part of you"
Q: What are some of your wounds? How have they shaped who you are today?

"...revenge becomes our only hope"
Q: When was a time when you got revenge for something? How did you feel? Do you think you were telling God that you can handle it better than He?

"The eyes of the Lord are everywhere..."
Q: Do you trust that God is ultimately going to take care of everything?

"You know what? You don’t understand. What they did to me is so horrible, I can never forgive them. But what if God said that?"
Q: How have you experienced God's forgiveness? Knowing this, how can that help you to forgiving others?

"Maybe forgiveness is ultimately about you and me, it's about us. Because when i forgive something and I set them free, it's like I'm really setting myself free."
Q: Do you believe this statement? That forgiveness is really more about the forgiving than the forgiven? Does this make it easier for you to forgive?

"Forgiving is an action. It's something you do."
Q: Is there anyone that you need to forgive right now? Share.

Now there's no excuse not to blog! haha. :D
-a.

Justice

2009-04-30T21:29:00.002-04:00

Okay, so no blogs yet... a bit disappointing. but here's mine.

Today I think I experienced something that bothered me a lot. Y'know, it's one of those things that really isn't a big deal, but to me personally, I was upset. I dont know if you've been wrongly accused for something that you didn't do, but I suppose that's what happened to me. Well, so during lunch I was counting money for the music council, since we just did a huge chocolate fundraising event. So i was counting with my teacher and two other students. And we just so happened to run over lunch and I got to class 5 minutes late.. during DEAR. I didnt ask my teacher for a note cause it's just 5 minutes, right, whatever. But noo, my physics teacher was being... extremely unpleasent, and demanded a detention for 50 minutes.. (10 times the length i was late) So fine, whatever, right, I'll take it. It's just detention. But at that time, I felt so.. disturbed, i guess. Honestly, okay, i was late, but 10 times? c'mon. that's just ridiculous. the school policy is to stay for however long you were late for, maxmum double the time...So I tell her, I was doing music council stuffs, i'll ask my supervising teacher to write a note explaining my tardiness. But no, she's like "oh, no. i dont want a note. im tired of your excuses and crap." I think at that point I kinda.. y'know. reached my max "pissed"-ness. So I just sat down and did nothing for the rest of the class. We're not even learning.. we're having presentations. I honestly dont see her reason in being so mean. then near the end of class, she comes to me and says "oh, i just spoke to mr lum (music head), he said there was no reason for you to have been late." and im like "dude, i wasnt WITH mr lum. did you talk to mr church? (the one i was with)" and by this time i'm pretty much yelling.. well, not yelling, more like. rising my voice. and she's like "i don tneed to talk to mr church. i talked to lum already." and that's just ridiculous. lum wasnt even around during lunch. blah blah blah, the story goes on. And something that i hate about myself is that i cry very easily, even if i'm not at fault. So i started crying during class. The class was just doing "class work", so i just kept on sitting there. I wasn't exactly angry.. but when she accused me of missing 5 MINUTES of class because "i just wanted to" was just bs. (please excuse my language) anyway, so by that time i was supposed to go do a bio contest, so i just walk out. i couldnt take it.. what was i supposed to say when she didnt even try to listen? so i left. and did the contest.. which i probably failed. but yeah, so then afterschool i went to my detention. I knew it wasnt gonna be 50 minutes; she wouldnt bother to stay that long. So whatever, i went there to do math homework. The worst part of this was that she brought in mr lum to give me another lecture. Talk about fun. He starts talking about the council's reputation being more important and how people have abused their rights as council members to miss classes, blah blah blah. and how "maybe you guys just want more time afterlunch to hand out (talking to me and my boyfriend) but you gotta go to class on time." and ......... by then i just totally shut him out. DUDE, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. he comes in and starts talkign about crap when he doesnt even know the situation. perhaps he was trying to apologize for his "misunderstaning" that i was with mr church at lunch, but it sure felt like he was just trying to save his own rep and justified himself. I'm sure he said more, but i cant remember it. So we got let out like.. 30 minutes after, but seriously.. i dont see a point in it.

I still dont know what i did wrong.. and honeslty, i dont think i did. if they had to put a blame on me, maybe is hould've asked for a note. but what good would that have done, since it was an "excuse" anyway? I felt that i was just caught inbetween two people who had a crappy day. but whatever. I still dont see why i was "punished" for doing stuffs during lunch.. for the council. So then afterschool, i spent a while talking to my friends.. who were totally on my side and such, but there was no point in talking about it anymore, it's done. and lum comes and goes like "do you need to talk about this?".. what can i talk about? you already judged me by "what happened". I guess my reason for being so upset is that.. well, they were attacking my .. character. They thought that i went to class late because i a) just didnt feel like it, b) wanted to spend time with my boyfriend (which was ridiculous, i wasnt even with him =.=) and c) that i do this often. Honestly.. i dont even skip class, if i really didnt wanna go to class, why would i have gone after 5minutes? and i've never "abused" the council title for my own gain.. it's easy to, but i haven't, yet.

So as i was.. just thinking this over, i remembered what we watched last week about forgiveness. He said somethign about forgiveness is actually for the forgiving, not the ones being forgiven. Well, I dont know whether or not i forgave them.. cause i still cant let it go. But i guess that's also part of who i am.. i need to be right. and ... well, i still dont see any bit in how i was wrong. And if i do forgive them eventually, since forgivness is an action, am i gonna go up to my teachers and tell them i forgive them? that's kinda awkward.. isnt it? So then after all this, i was thinking a) maybe i should drop the course RIGHT NOW and never go back. i don tneed it anyway. b) quitting the council just to show them how much work i do, and how much they need me. But well, those solutions don't work. It wont do anyone any good. and so then this verse popped in my head, i don tknow where it is.. somewhere in the gospels, i think. it goes something liek this. "it is the Lord's to avenge" and something like "leave room for God's wrath" I dont really know if it relates, but i guess, God's got this down. And i felt quite peaceful knowing that God knows.. and really, why do i care so much about this? Well, i dont know. But it still annoys me. Perhaps i'll get some insight as the days pass.

more to come,
-a.

*oh, i tried writing formally, but my "anger" took over and so i just kept typing and forgot all my grammar. haha

I thought you were Christian

2009-04-23T20:38:00.003-04:00

If you may recall, I posted an entry about saying "hey Christian, chill!". I've recently had a similar experience. Twice within the last two days.

Firstly, I was with a non-Christian friend and we were talking about prom and dates. So we were talking about someone we know who said no to a guy, and my friend's answer to that was, "well, I can see that happening. She's so Christian". I was pretty surprised by that comment because I was just like "welll....." because I know she didn't really mean any harm to that comment, but that implication made me feel pretty weird. I've been thinking about it, and I don't know if she meant that because she was Christian and he was non-Christian, she would automatically say no, but my impression was that being a super-Christian meant that you don't date.

So today, I had a spare so I was leaving to go out but everyone else had an assembly. So I guess technically I was skipping, fine. I was by my locker and people from classes were starting to come out, and these people passed by me and they were all like, "yo, skipper!!" and i was just like "yeah yeah..". Then this one guy passed by and he was like "I thought you were Christian!" I was with a Christian friend at that time, and I was a little more subtle about it, but her jaw dropped.

To some all that up: dang, EVERY little thing can be turned into something to do with Christian identity. Both times, I had no idea what to say. I started saying something along the lines of "well...that doesn't really matter" but then maybe it does. I'm not quite sure. There's so many different ways people view Christians, and it really throws me off when someone says something like that. I usually think of those kinds of comments being relative to things on a bigger scale like committing crimes, but this time it really made me realize that people do watch our every little move. I feel like I should've been standing up for my faith, but I wasn't sure if my answer would've been hypocritical or give them the wrong impression- or just be flat out wrong. So now, I've kind of compiled a mental list of what to say in these kinds of situations because this is a reality. The only thing is that that mental list is still empty.

Sabrina

Wrestling.

2009-04-19T23:22:00.002-04:00

So Tina preached about wrestling with God today. And I realized that I do this a lot. As I was sharing about my university dilemmas, I said that I didn't know what God wants for me and whether I'm basing my decisions on my own desires. So in short, I do think that God wants me to go to Waterloo, since He's given me much guidance through Andrew (I know you're reading this, so *hi5! :]). And so I guess what I've been doing now is trying to take control of my life. I want an "escape" through my friends, I suppose. I want them to approve of my decisions. And since many of them are saying "Oh.. Waterloo? Why?", I feel uneasy about my decision. Remember what we learned from fellowship on Friday, why are we turning to earthly things when we can turn to God? And God's been pretty clear to me, I think.
I guess what I wanna say is that even if my peers don't exactly agree with me, it doesn't matter. As stated in Isaish 55:8-9 ""For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts." I remember singing a song with these lyrics many TCs ago. I can't find it now, but it's stuck by me a lot.
So, I guess I'm going to UW :)
--a.

It was there all along

2009-04-18T16:10:00.002-04:00

So today just randomly as I was on the road, I had a flashback-
Back in the fall, I remember that my uncle was asking me which universities I applied to, and Carleton was one of them. Then he said something along the lines of, "a girl from my church is going there for sure and she really wants to join the fellowship group there" and how friendly she was and stuff. His point was that almost certainly, I'd have someone from Toronto to connect with if I were to attend the fellowship group; that there would be someone that could potentially pull me to that group.

I've had the fear for quite a while that in university, I would stray away from God. I have the fear that I'll leave and never come back. So today, I finally understood the sign that God was giving me. It took me about half a year to realize it, but I think that this is my sign to go to Carleton. It's kind of funny how this is based on a person who I've never seen (heck, I don't even know her name), but the fact that her determination to be at the fellowship is so strong, it kind of motivates me too. And now that I think about it, I have no Christian friends going to Laurier, there's been no mention of Christians at U of Ottawa, but there was an association between Carleton and Laurier.

I don't even know if I'm making sense right now, but my point is that it's those little subtle signs that we should be looking out for. I've been praying for a while to get some guidance about where to go, and it took me this long to realize that I had my sign from the start. Like this one, sometimes the signs aren't even very logical, but there's a feeling that it makes sense. Maybe it's even symbolic. I don't even know how to describe it, but I'm just so much more comforted about this decision now that I found that sign. So keep your eyes and ears open because God works in mysterious ways. It may take half a year to discover it, but He's got your back.

Sorry that this wasn't very articulate,
Sabrina.

Look up.

2009-04-13T17:01:00.002-04:00

I've been meaning to blog about this a while ago.

So every Monday night, I have band at school til 8:30ish. And every time, I would call my dad to pick me up.. After I get my stuffs ready, he's usually still not there yet. I would mumble and whine, although I'm not exactly impatient. I would say, "Where is my father?" in that annoying voice that I have. One time, my friend Justin, some of you might know him, he said something to me that really hit home. He said casually, "If you're looking for your Father, look up." Those simple words really made me feel a rush of peace and... i suppose you could call it happiness. It only took such simple but yet wise words to remind me of who I am to God. He is our Father, and we are His. Although I knew this before, it just really made me realize that God's love for us is bigger than anything in the world. And i remember this from TC: God is constant and unchanging. We're the ones that move away from Him, but no matter what, God is there waiting for us with open arms to welcome us home.

I don't know how you spent your Easter, but this year's been quite incredible to me. I went to this service, and one thing that I remember the pastor saying was that Jesus didn't have to die for us. He didn't even need to come down to Earth. He didn't have to suffer the pain and listen to the insults that were hurled at Him. He could've just go back to Heaven if He wanted to. But He did it for us, and really, who are we to deserve this saving grace? On saturday I went to SCBC's fellowship. And this girl mentioned something that I never paid much attention to. When Christ was suffering on the cross, he asked "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" and God turned his face away. He could'nt bear to see His only son suffering, but yet he still leet it happen so that we could be redeemed. I don't even know where to find this in the bible, but it made me realize how great God's love for us is. So on Sunday, it was a really hectic day, but it was so amazing! Since our service started at 10:30, I went and worshipped til 11, because my friends were getting baptised at 11:15. When we got there, they were singing "Celebrate Jesus", the same song that we sang at church. I've never heard of this song before, but it was kinda cool cause the fact is that Easter is supposed to be a celebration for all Christians over the world. So hearing at two different churches (and im sure others sang it too) was pretty cool. After that, i went to two other friends' baptisms. So i went to four different churches. And it was relaly cool to see how different churches worship and such. I really enjoyed it, actually. Although my butt REALLY hurt after such long hours of sitting. It was amazing to see God working in all these people's lives and how God has shaped them. I was tearing as my friend was sharing her testimony. It got me really emotional because i've known her for so long. In a way, I watched her from being someone that has no idea who God is, to someone that's serving Him so much different ways, it really made me happy. I guess it re-affirmed my faith as well, cause i know God is faithful and He'll bring us through whatever he leads us to. :)

This has been a really long post. I've forgotten a lot of stuffs that i wanted to say, but I'm sure you get the general idea of my post. :)

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He would give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross

My guilt upon His shoulders

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no powr's, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Tarrot Cards

2009-04-05T22:50:00.002-04:00

Maybe all of you guys reading this would be curious about the title of my blog, or maybe you won't be lol but still.

Well now i know that in the bible it says that i shouldn't play with tarrot cards, but i guess it was two years ago when i played with tarrot cards. I was young and i didn't know and i guess back then i wasn't as serious about God as i am now. It was in grade 8 when i played with the cards, well one of my best friends bought it at p-mall and i remember almost everyday i'd go over to her place and play monopoly lol (yes i noe a very boring activity for just 2 people, we played for the whole day once) but i guess we got bored of it and she got a new set of tarrot cards, so we were just playing it for fun. Well, the results that i had weren't really true at the moment, but a while ago i was remembering what the tarrot cards said about my future and i was really believeing that maybe tarrot cards could really tell the future because the results that i remember all came true. Here's an example. Back then i guess i wasn't really close friends with this person, and we the card said that i'd be really really close friends with this person and i think itz really true rite now. Another card also said that the friend who i played the cards with wouldn't be as close friends anymore. I honestly felt that it was true this lately because i haven't really talked to her and the only time i did was when we said hi to each other and stuff. I felt like things were getting awkwards because one time it was me and her and another friend sitting there and we didn't even talk. Well, since i thought that card was comming true, i prayed to God to maintain our friendship. I guess right now the card was wrong because i talked to her yesterday and we just talked about the problems we had. She told me that being best friends doesn't necessarily mean that we have to hang out with each other everyday and talk to each other often, they're supposed to be there for you no matter what and tell you what you should change about yourself no matter how bad it sounds. I was really reassured that our relationship didn't change that much and i was really happy. I was just so happy and i think God answered my prayer lol.

I guess this also kind of relates to things that have happened to me this lately. I've been in some really bad friend situations and i once thought that we worked things out, but we didn't, so right now i dunno.. i haven't talked to them for like a month or more now. You're probably wondering how it relates, well i guess the friendships that i had with those friends were pretty weak even though we talked to each other everyday and hung out a lot. I guess this conflict between us really showed me how weak our friendships were. At that moment i really wanted to see if we were strong enough to be able to get good friends again, but at this rate i don't think it's possible. I don't think i'm mad at them, but i just don't like the things that happened. If i compared those two friendships i just talked about, there's a pretty big contrast. Now i know that being really good friends with someone doesn't really matter on the amount of times you talk to them in a day or how many hours you spend with them. I think it comes from the heart. If you really think that they're your best friend then they'd really be your bestfriend even thought you might not talk to that person really often. (I don't know if that made sense, but it all made sense in my head lol)

well anyways i should go and sleep now. BLOG EVERYONE! lol nites

-sherm

pressure

2009-04-05T00:51:00.002-04:00

so i just got home from work 1 and a half hour ago. I'm very tired and i have two more lessons of math homework to do. lol so i was doing homework and suddenly, i was planning out what I have to do tommorow. The first thing that came up to my mind was church. That reminded me that Anthony told me to post this verse onto our blog, . . . or else. Technically, I'm not too late yet because he told me last sunday. So tomorrow I can tell him that I did what he asked me to do. Here's the verse:

it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. {Ephesians 2:8-9}

He told me to ask you guys to find the meaning of grace and faith. I'm pretty sure the people in Anthony's class will find out tomorrow. So that means we can all try to post the answer and blog blog blog !

k. chan

Planted Seeds

2009-04-04T00:56:00.002-04:00

I felt God's presence today.

So about an hour ago, I was just chatting with a few friends on msn; the usual. Somehow we got to the topic of fellowship and our spiritual lives. It was pretty interesting, because I was actually waiting to have a "deep" conversation with this particular person regarding this topic. So we talked about what a fellowship really is, and how we can develop a sense of belonging and what not. Then I told him about how I didn't exactly know you guys, and how slowly but surely we build connections and relationships and how it does feel more like a fellowship now, rather than a bunch of kids sitting around avoiding eye-contact. I'm not saying that all of us are crazily enthusiastic to answer questions when we do bible study (as seen today), but that I know that it's been getting better because we know each other more, etc. As the conversation progressed, we talked about how he could start something at his school or with his friends and stuffs. It got pretty intruging. At this time, another friend messages me and she tells me about her "intensive debate" with a non-christian friend about science and religion. It got pretty intense because our friend is quite ...determined that there is no God. So then they start talking about science and how life existed and it simply cannot be caused by random collisions of atoms and molecules... The point is, she ends up telling me how frustrated she was because she's been praying for the friend for so long. And at that moment, I sorta had a.. tear of joy, cause I've been praying for this friend as well. It was encouraging for me to know that I'm not alone in trying to spread the Word, especially to these friends that I care about. Right then, I felt so compelled to talk to God, so I prayed. I felt so .. empowered, in a way, because I know that God works in mysterious ways. The way I see it, by having the "intense debate", we planted a seed in our friend's heart. Whether or not it'll grow or when it would, we dont know. But that's already a big step. But both my friend and I have faith that in time, God'll do His thing. :)
"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and psring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near." James 5:7-8 I'm not exactly sure if I'm iterpreting this right, but patience is key. This is where our witnessing comes in. After we've planted the seed of "faith" and "religion" in our friend's heart, we need to behave according to God's will and not be a "disgrace to all the other Christians," as we stated in fellowship today.

I guess the point of this blog was to write about my experience with different people. As I was talking ot my friends, I was also writing my TC sharing. So seriously, tonight, I felt God was right beside me. It was kinda scary! haha :)

Not just my own reflection

2009-03-27T21:36:00.002-04:00

So today was Mr. ACI, which was totally hectic. I was in charge of curtains and giving signals to the contestants. With another person backstage, we were all in each others' face in a joking kind of argument. Then someone else came by and looked at me and was like, "yo christian, cool it!". Yeah, that shut me up. I was extremely taken off guard by that. So I know that I'm usually (hardly) ever the model Christian, but I've never actually had someone say something like that to my face. So I'm thinking "dang, this is the impression i'm giving to christianity?" Also, some of the contestants were commenting on how one of the judges (a teacher) was christian, and some were like "no waaaay, why is he so mean then?" After hearing both incidents, i definitely was more mellow after. Less yelling, more encouraging. It was really so much better after i chilled out because I was able to joke around and easily talk to the others backstage, and talking got just as much done as assertiveness. I've thought about my attitude before, but I've never really tried to do anything about it because I've just considered it a part of me. But now that it's come to my attention, I realize that I don't just make an impression on myself anymore. I make an impression on christainity as well. I'll take some baby steps eventually.

-sab.

But seek first the Kingdom of God

2009-03-26T22:52:00.002-04:00

brief blog. i wanna share about something we talked about today in our school fellowship.
so we were doing this Q&A session, sorta, and we had ONE question, but the answer of it came out to be an whole hour! so exciting! :)
so the question was: how do i know the will of God?

and to simplify the answer, no matter what you do, which university you go to, do it unto the Lord. :)
"Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you."
Is what im doing going to glorify God? I think that verse really struck me. Really, we worry about this and that, but ultimately, God's guiding our paths and he won't let anything screw us over. But if we seek His will first, something that honours him, we have nothing to worry about. It's kinda like that saying from some famous guy, "Aim for earth(ly things) and you'll get nothing (?). Aim for God/ Heaven, and you'll get earth thrown in." Someone correct me, cause i know i got it wrong. But it's something along those lines. If we strive for God's way, we'll receives blessings and joy and peace from Him that we cannot imagine. :)

That's gotta be my shortest blog ever. But it's straight to the point, i hope.
--a.

Earth Hour 2009

2009-03-26T12:10:00.003-04:00

Hi guys, I don't usually post here. But our upcoming Sunday speaker Pastor Ada Chung has sent out an invitation...so just want to pass along. She may ask what we actually do that hour, on Sunday. ;-)

I'd like to invite you to participate in this year's Earth Hour, where you would turn off your lights, or even better, all unnecessary appliances, for a whole hour, 60 minutes, for the purpose of raising awareness towards the need to take action on climate change. It started in 2007 March in Sydney, but it became global, and Toronto is joining for the 2nd time this year.

"Earth Hour 2009" is going to be held on the last Saturday of March, which is THIS Saturday, 8:30-9:30PM (same local time around the world as well).

See what a difference we could make and what an unusual experience we would have. Turn off your lights, just for one hour. You could have a family gathering in the dark (you could use candles but please be careful =>), have deeper talks with family and friends, go to a park, star gazing, play music, meditation on the scriptures... yes of course, take a nap or just sleep early to prepare for Sunday worship =P... etc.

For more information:
Official Earth Hour 2009 Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CRs-7lRlPo
Earth Hour 2009 Toronto Site: http://wwf.ca/earthhour/toronto/

Thanks for your attention and time!

God bless,
Ada =)

i need to focus

2009-03-24T22:04:00.003-04:00

So I'm supposed to post this verse from the bible from sunday school because Anthony said so. Unfortunately, i forgot what it was. My bad. I will find out later or if anyone knows from my sunday school class, please post it! Yeah, so I've finally decided to blog for my first time.

Anyways, for the past three months, or should I say from the first day Amy created this blog, i was really busy. I was busy with school, friends, family, and work. I was focusing on all these things and i have almost forgotten about God. I need Mondays for "family day", Tuesday for "friends day or alone time", Wednesday for "work", Thursday for "tutoring", Friday for "fellowship and boyfriend", Saturday for "work", and Sunday for "church and boyfriend later on". For everyday of the week, I do homework (yes i do homework at work because my boss doesnt care yay). So yeah, i have my whole week planned for the rest of my 2 years of high school.

Since Semester 2 started, i had way too much homework. I just didnt know how to manage my time. My friends come up to me and say "we don't hang out anymore, you're always busy. lets do something on this day." And my family says "we never have any family time. we always do our own thing." And my school says "you dont do homework, you fail." so what do I do? I squish everything in my schedule leaving out God. You guys may have notice that i skip fellowship and church sometimes. I really need better time management skills. I think i have pressed the paused button, with my relationship with God. I stopped reading the bible daily (it was my new years resolution :] )

Then, march break hit. TC started. I was so happy because i finally have time with God. I enjoyed every moment at TC because i didnt have to worry about anything. For those two days, i was just spending time with God, learning more about him.

So, after march break. I guess I've been trying to attend to church and fellowship regularly and also reading my bible when i can. Keeping up with all my homework. Keeping in touch with my friends, and family. And going to work as usual. Right now, i've decided to make room for God, just like i did for the other things i sqeezed into my schedule. So thats the reason why i decided to blog for my first time because it seems like I wasnt reaching out to God.

I'm sorry if this is too confusing, because i jumped topics for here to there, back and forth and everywhere. Now, i'm off to study my two tests on thursday and my two assignemnts due on friday.

p.s please pray for me for better time management skills :)
k. chan

I went knowing I was looking for something, this is what I got

2009-03-23T21:46:00.005-04:00

As promised, I'm back here blogging about my experience at the wedding.

So first off, the church is amazing. I only got to see one hall, but it was already enough to be impressed. The chapel holds 200 people, which is fair. But the sanctuary holds 2000 people with its 3 levels! Amazing. The church also holds a library, a bookstore, a children's centre, and a senior centre just to name a bit. I don't know how many youths they have, but it's enough to make a few soccer, baseball, basketball, and beach volleyball teams....which the church all has fields for. My family actually got lost outside of the church because its parking lot extends to 3 different streets.

As for the actual wedding, there's nothing like a wedding to make you believe in love again. The ceremony was beautiful. It was a Chinese/Scottish wedding, so it was interesting to see both cultural traditions being played out. They are both Christian though, so that's where I got a lot out of the wedding. I've never really got the whole effect of it being a truly holy ceremony until now. I realized that it's not just a promise between two people, but it's a promise to God as well. I can't even remember what it exactly was that helped me come to this realization, maybe it was the whole atmosphere. But it was really touching. And I'm really glad I got to experience this. Marriage really does seem like something that should be completely honoured and never broken. I find that i've fallen into that worldy view that divorce is okay, but after this, I don't know where i stand anymore. I'm a little less for divorce, i'll say that much.

All in all, before I actually took this trip, I kind of knew that I was going on a search for something spiritual. I've been to Memphis before, and I've noticed the religious aspect, but never really experienced it. That's what I was looking for, and that's what I got.

i'm happy right now.

2009-03-23T19:25:00.002-04:00

as you can see from my title, i am super duper happy right now. i will share with you guys why i am soooo happy b/c i haven't blogged since i don't remember when and even though i don't appear really happy i really am. but anyway it all started from last night when i went to sleep, i was lying there for like an hour and i still couldn't fall asleep and i think i was ready to fall asleep until i heard the phone ring. in my mind i was somewhat angry b/c i was close to sleeping and i let the phone ring for a few times and then i picked up. in my mind i was still thinking who can it be!? calling so late i'm trying to sleep. when i said hello, a voice said hey is this shermaine and i'm like ya it is and he's like do u know who i am. i said no and i was thinking to myself i'm trying to sleep here. i was kinda grumpy till he said his name. the moment he said his name i sounded soo awake.

here's a little bit on what happened to this friend of mine. at around a month ago, he auditioned to this dance school in new york and he made it in the school. i remembered that i prayed for him and i hoped that he'd make it in the school b/c i know that he's worked really hard for that audition and that he wanted it ever since i don't know when. well he told me about the audition way way before. i kind of had a feeling that he'd make it anyway b/c i know he's really good at dancing. after talking to him two days before his audition, i never talked to him again. it felt like he disapeered from the face of this earth, but i missed him a lot b/c i consider him as one of my closest friends. well actually the funny thing was that he didn't want people to know that he went to audition for that dance school, but everyone who knew my friend talked about his departure from the school for the whole week there were soo many variations on what kind of dance he was doing at his new school and stuff. but i think it's not only me who missed him.

but anyway back to the story. when he called i was shocked and surprised partly b/c i waited for that phone call from him for a long time and i thought that he'd never call me and he forgot about me and have his new friends. but i guess i was wrong. we talked for around 15 minutes. even though the time that we talked wasn't really long, but i was really happy and just surprised that he even remembered to call me. the funny thing about this phone call too was that i prayed for this friend before i got the phone call. after i hung up, deep down i was thinking thank you god. and well right now i want to thank him for everything. b/c i didn't think that i could still have a good friendship with someone who is not in toronto and not allowed to use the internet that often for communication. i even thought that he forgot about me. but i think god made it happen. and i hope that i could really continue to be good friends with him even thought he's in new york.

-sherm

TC experience: the little bits aside from the main bits

2009-03-22T23:15:00.002-04:00

tctctc...still recovering from it
ok since amy shared the main bits of our tc experince, and I shared another big bit of it @ fellowship, I'll just share the not so main but stuck me real good bits :P if that made any sence. well one bit that really struck me at first was the analogy when rebecca said. it goes sumthign like this: If I got $ 8548540869 (insert big number) everyday for the rest of my life, what would I do? my inital thought was " oh! another story about how not to care much about worldy things"
then she added that this after I;ve spent my money, each day, itll all disapear but thr next day I'll get all of this money again then I thoguht to myself seriously because I;ve never heard of this analogy. I thouht mayb if I gave it to sumone else, then that would help them since if I kept it, it would disapear Idont know :( then she goes on and relates this to time and our everyday. how everyday we have 4587238509(bignumber) seconds in ourlives and how we choose to spend it is our own choice but everyday, every second you dont spend, will be gone. and then it hit me! I thoguht that was the most brilliant thing. like my eyes have been opened. From this simple analogy I really learned how I should spend my time. everyday is a gift from God and he gave me this gift so I could do whatever, but why not give back? pretend you were stil young and someone you knew gave you a colouring book and a pack of crayons, what woudl you do? I'll ask them for thier favourite picture, colour it and give it to them to show a sign of gratitude. why not with God? he gives you each and everyday, why not just give back? yea this little analogy was an amazing breakthrough to my attitude on life its just that amazing

another little thign that really struck me was when pastor Colin said about how people broguht up in the church would feel that church life is boring. To tell you the truth, if you asked me a few years ago I would agree with this. Back then I felt chruch was like a weekly ritual. every sunday I would go to chruch and just listen and take it in and by the time I get home, I would have forgotten everything and feel liek I;ve watsed my sunday morning. for so many years thats been the case and I was so ashamed Think abotu it. you had the privilage to be born into a chritian family, you dont have the struggles others have to go to chruch and being in the faith. you would think that it would be much better for your spiritual growth. But this definately wasnt the case. to make it simple, my walk with jesus was just boring. I guess what really hit me though from what he said was how much change God can do when you reconnect. ok let me explain my christian life was boring UNTIL a few years ago after a whole series of event that I'll rather not talk about. Thats when I think I had reconnected to God. and from hearing what he said, it made me realize just how immportant is was for me to reconnect. because when he said it at first, I completely disagreed. I grew up in chruch and yes,it was boring for while until it kicked in but now my walk with jesus isnt meerly a walk anymore its more than a stroll through the park, its mroe of an adventure through thru the wilderness, with a goal with a purpose and best of all, it isnt boring at all! :) yea I find it weird how I get more thru the little thigns than from the bigger ones :P

hm....and other experince...I cant recall now, but I'll blog later if I does kick in
yea thats my tc experince of the little bits of tc

-arth

ps I guess amy would want me to say heer is to blog blog blog! esp bout YOUR tc experince not what you experince with other ppl and all but your own tc experiences

re:connect

2009-03-22T14:24:00.003-04:00

time for me to reconnect to my blogging time :)
Man, it's been a while since i've blogged. and i've decided to drop the formal language and just type whatever comes to mind.

I guess i shall share about my TC serving experience. Honestly, it was great. We had our very first TC training back in october, i think. and when i got there, i had NO friends besides arthur and 2 guys from my church . it was so sad. but it was great to see so many young people working for God :) So arthur and i decided on our name to be FISH cause of jonah and all. it was good. WE honestly didnt do anything til like mid feburary. And then it got really hectic. There was schedules to fill, games to think of, banner and team gears to make, cheer ideas to brainstorm... so much work. I honestly didnt want to do all of it, and i actually started to think if i should've signed up for this during gr 12. I already had so much to do for school and church. It got pretty crazy. I pushed most of the things back until the last weekend. AFter our sleepover, on the saturday, i spent ALL day making the team gear, our little "arm bands". it was hard, man! the stupid fabric was hard to cut and i had to cut every single piece one by one. that's 4 letters per person, and we made 30 of these arm bands. so that's 120 letters that i had to cut... it took me a long long long time. and gluing it was hard too cause it was flimsy and sticky and gross. But hey, i got it done. and it looked okay :) wohoo! Let's just say that as i glued, i watched two whole movies. JUST FOR GLUING! wow.

Anyway, the actual TC days were amazing. at 8:45am, i told arthur "omgsh, TC is in 15 minutes" and we had our little panic moment. haha. But everything was going pretty well! our banner looked AWESOME, our team gear was done, our coaches were encouraging. The energy filled the room. IT was great :) Then we started meeting our team people in the sanctuary. I was kinda awkward, cause i didnt know if i was supposed to make conversation or not. so it was pretty "hey.. team fish? yay!" sorta thing. It was good. the worship was good, the drama was great. This year, everythign ran so smoothly. Our team was actually really good, no one was those cool kids that were "too cool to listen". EVeryone got along well, and i felt so good. I felt pretty prepared and everything was well. We didn't win our first game for rec. I think that's when i started to get a bit down. But hey, it's just a game, right? I think eventually i realized that winning's not e verything, and then i really got to understand WHY we're playing these games. We're not playing to win, we're playing to build teamwork and friendships. That strike me pretty hard. I think from then on i had a totally different way of looking at my team. Sure, we sucked at some games, but everyone had fun. :) And our cheer kinda sucked cause we only practised a few times and no one would memorize the words, but who cares? It doesn't matter. AT the end of the day, i was already sounding like a man. I was half dead. I went up to the altar call and helped with the coaching afterwards. I really enjoyed it because it was an all girls group and we were just sharing how to rededicate ourselves to God. I realized that y'know, everyone of us are going through the same thing. They were saying somthing bout how church seems to be more like a ritual than faith, and how everything's the same everyweek. And in the end, i think we really got down to WHY we go to church, and WHY we serve. It really depends on our hearts and our motives for serving. the coach also said that it's okay to doze off during sermons, cause we're all humans, but as long as you let God speak to your heart, that's all that matters. I think that's really important.
Where is your heart? Why do you need to connect with God? I really liked the bible study. "Apart from Me, you can do NOTHING." Y'know, in this world, there's so many ways for us to pretend and even lie to ourselves and serve with the wrong purpose. But apart from God, we will not bear fruit. It was a pretty hard passage to "teach", cause i'm still trying to grasp the whole idea of this and follow through.

I'm writing too much. I dont even know what my point of this blog is anymore. But yes, after the second day, i totally lost my voice. I try to speak, but i couldn't. It was pretty bad. But i learned to be quiet and listen. Listen to others, listen to God. I was asking God to help me get my voice back so much cause i couldn't stand being so quiet; having things to say but can't. IT was pretty difficult. But it's also important to understand that if you keep blabbling on and on, you will never listen. Learn to listen and absorb yourself in God. :) During worship on the last day, i was pretty much just standing there half the time, feeling everyone praising God's name. It was pretty awesome. God was at work in TC, and you could totally feel hearts pouring out to Him. It was quiet the sight. But let's pray that this "TC high" isn't just a high, but the start of many Christian lives.

I think the followup work will be hard. Cause yes, it is "werid" to jump around and sing praises to God in our fellowship when we only have liek 10 people. But does it really matter? Why are you jumping and screaming? Cause everyone else was? Or was your heart pointed to God and just wanted to sing of how GREAT he is? And now that we know we're dumb, ugly, stupid sheep, what's next? How do we live our lives to be RED LETTER Christians? I really like that. I think we shoudl start something, guys ;)

more to come later.

I think everyone should blog on their TC experience :) I know there's so much that you wanna share. or questions to ask. Feel free. It's easier to blog than to ask in real life, right? Or ask in real life, i like that too. :)Dont be afraid.

--a.

The greatest things are what we can't see with our eyes

2009-03-19T12:28:00.002-04:00

Hey y'all, i'm blogging from Memphis, Tennessee. So anyway, for school, I have to read a book called "Fifth Business" by Robertson Davies, and it actually kind of surprised me how much insight it gives into religion. I'm only about 60 pages (out of 300) in, but already I feel like I'm learning more and being reminded of things that i had forgotten. I want to share a few quotes about the way a child sees God:

"Our sense...is nothing to God's; and though big people have more sense than children, the sense of all the big people in the world put together would be no sense to His." ...Nothing seemed clearer to her than the reasonableness of one legend which taught that though God always answers our prayers, He does not always answer in the way we would like, but in some better way than we know.

So I thought that was interesting in how God is compared to everyday people. Even now, I still think, "yeah, adults are so much more knowledgable than youths or children". It seems easier to measure and compare the wisdom of physical beings, so I liked how God's greatness was being compared as more than everyone in the world put together- that's strong. And with the second part about how God answers our prayers, I simply love the insight that it gave. Often, I feel myself hoping for an obvious answer to my problems, but the greatest solutions are the subtle ones where I really have to pause and think about what just happened. That way, the answer's not just offered to us on a silver platter, but we actually have to reflect about how He works.

Anyway, on Saturday, my cousin's getting married in a church with a membership of 27,000. Even though I'm not going for a typical Sunday service, I'm really excited because I get to be somewhere where that many people come together and worship on a regular basis. And they do say that the South is big on religion, and yes, I notice it. I'll keep y'all updated!

-sabrina

Taking a step back.

2009-03-08T23:36:00.003-04:00

I'm really sleepy. But there's much to blog :)

So today during worship, I was very distracted because it's finally hit me that TC is in a week. 7 days. School's been pretty tough lately, especially after missing two days of school for a music trip. So I've been trying to cram everything this weekend. The worship was actually really powerful to me. Honestly, I haven't been singing enough to God lately, missing 2 fellowship weeks in a row. But today I felt so ...revived through worship. During the sermon, I think the thing that i remember most is how God puts us through obstacles to teach and discipline us. On Saturday night, I was thinking of a bunch of excuses of what to tell me teacher when I don't hand in my assignment at the end of the week. The best one I came up with was "family problems". But now when I think about it, why don't I at least try to do it? A lot of times, I think of ways to get out of something, but at the end, I end up doing it anyway. So then what's the point in wasting time and energy thinking of excuses? Through this busy time, I've learned that I'm not a person that gives up easily. If I try and fail, that's another story. But I won't walk away without at least trying.

Difficulties build character, my friend.

By taking a step back and learning to tackle the work one piece at a time, I realized the importance of my attitude in life.

BTW, please pray for TC :) officially a week from today!

-a.

My List and Your Challenge

2009-03-01T01:26:00.002-05:00

So as promised... Here is my List... again, i challenge you all to come up with a detailed list... like DETAILED... anything less than 10 is really unrealistic as to what you're looking for.... because let's face it, your standards can't be that low when it comes to finding someone to spend your life with... as well, I challenge and encourage you to offer to send your list to me or someone in Christ that you trust to hold on to it for you... i, or this person, will take the responsibility of keeping you accountable so you will find someone that has what you've looked for and that the feelings you have for the girl or guy is not strictly based on emotions but based on qualities that are important to you.... Christine has played this role for our fellowship many years back... probably from like highschool... and, i've formatted my comp so i lost it, i was able to recover it through Christine... i think it's a really good to keep each other in check like that.... it keeps you grounded so you wont settle for someone you're not willing to spend the rest of your life with...

Ideal Wife/Girlfriend

Christian
Optimistic
Likes children and wants to have children of our own if biologically possible
Independent and dependent at the same time
Compromiser
Outdoorsy
Enjoys sports
Enjoys spending time with me
Supportive
Argues with me
Makes up with me after argument
Speaks her mind
Opinionated
Creative
Gets along with my friends
Drives me to become a better person all around
Shares ups and downs with me
Someone I can share ups and downs with
Doesn’t mind my shortness or is shorter than me
Likes and gets along with my parents
Is liked by my parents
I get along with her family
Likes traveling
Share chores with me
100% Trust b/t us
Is not materialistic
Possess the Fruits of the Spirit
Puts up with me
Puts up with my corniness
Puts up with my stupidity
Laugh at my dumb jokes
Have stupid moments with me
Have nice hands
Have same music taste as me
Enjoy nature
Makes good use of my shoulder and presence
Looks at the future the same way as I do
Finally, accepts my blankie

-J Lo

what does God want?

2009-03-01T00:00:00.002-05:00

I feel so compelled to blog and not do my math homework.

So lately I've been extremely overwhelmed by deadlines and things that has to be done. First, there's school. I don't even need to explain that. Then there's TC stuffs. (Can you believe it? it's 16 days away!) And on top of all that, there's university applications. Oii. It's a lot of work.

About a month ago, I was worrying about getting INTO university. But now it's all changed. I don't know which one to go to. I feel like God's kinda playing with me sometimes, because i thought, "hey, western doesn't want me. Good, so I'll have one less choice." But now.. they want me. So that adds another door to my future.. which one do i choose?!

Honestly, I have no idea what I want to do in my future. At the same time, it's hard to know what God wants. There's so much that's being offered to me by "this world" right now. Where is God? I don't know. Someone was like "Go to UT, so you can come back to church still!" haha. I dont know! :(

Sometimes I wish i had less choices. Or, that someone will choose for me.
Pray for me, my friends :D

p.s. PRAY FOR TC. it's 16 days away! There's much to be done! :)

2009-02-24T23:41:00.003-05:00

wow... no one has posted anything since feb 6... i guess it's cause of exams and everything... so i guess i'll make my first entry here...

you might all be wondering who I am and why I am at Samuel every week for the last couple of weeks...

well, if you don't already know, i am Johnny. I attend CLBC on a weekly basis and i attend UNI fellowship at 8 every friday. I am a York University Graduate from the kinesiology program. I have been working at a physiotherapy clinic in the past year and a half. I hope to be attending masters in physiotherapy in the fall. I have been attending church since i was 8 but it wasnt until maybe 5 years ago when i considered myself Christian. so that's me in a paragraph. feel free to ask for more details or anything you want to know..

why I decided to take part in Samuel? I want to take part in your growth. I want to see each member mature in Christ, myself included. even though i am suppose to be the one bringing things to the table, I, too, see this as a learning experience for myself. A vision that i have for myself as one of the leaders/members of samuel is that I don't want to be viewed as the older guy that tells ppl what to do and what not to do... I want to present myself as one who is approachable in times of need... i want to be a friend/brother to all of you... yes, that might sound corny... but until you can see others within the church as brothers and sisters, you will not be able to see what kind of difference the church can bring into your life... I might be A BIT older than you guys... but highschool isnt centuries away from me... i still remember what went on and I can still get an idea of what goes on now... i dont believe that my high school days are all that different from today's...

so feel free to come to me w/ anything... questions about me, questions about Christianity, random questions, questions about life, etc... I will always try and make myself available...

and i do encourage you guys to make use of this blog... not just amy and sabrina writing... but everyone contribute... this is your space to venture... u can vent, u can share, u can ask for prayer... this is suppose to be a judgement free space to express your concerns and anything... and it doesnt have to be anything deep... it can be a random joke u heard that you found funny... it doesnt have to be Christianity related either.... just post as you wish... but remember, this is a place to encourage one another... if you want to put someone down or gossip about someone, this is not the place to do it... nor should u be doing it..

signing out.. peace

the missing sharing

2009-02-06T21:46:00.004-05:00

The following verses relate to my personal experience. How God is able to be in the powerful wind, destructive earthquake, etc, but He chose to be in the gentle whisper. God wants us to know Him, and He is very willing to let us know all there is to know about Him. All we have to do is open up and listen. Don’t drown yourself with music, work, friends, etc, which might be ways for you to know God, but ultimately, you need to listen to His voice. This is between you and God.

1 Kings 19:11-12
11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

A few days before the New Years, I couldn’t fall asleep. I was getting extremely tiresome of trying to fall asleep. Eventually, I stopped trying to sleep and got up in my bed. I pulled up the blinds, opened the window, and just sat there. There was a gentle breeze. At first I was quite hot, so it was relieved. The whole house was dark, not a single light was lit. The streets were dimly lit, since it was 3am. The usual noises of cars rushing down Finch and dogs barking were all gone. It was, believe it or not, silent. Once in a while, I would hear water dripping onto the ground. It was that quiet. As I sat there, I slowly took in everything that was in front of me. The wind, the snow, the water dripping… How would it be cold enough to be snowing, but at the same time, warm enough for the snow on my roof to melt? It was quite amazing. I learned one thing that night. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." Romans 1:20 Creation is screaming God’s name. God is at work everywhere, and every day we pass by God, but yet we don’t take any notice of Him. While at church, we ask each other, “Hey, why isn’t God telling me what to do? Where is God in this world?” What more proofs do we need? God has given us everything, and yet we’re still asking Him to show us His greatness. During the hour that I was up, breathing God in, he gave me peace. He also gave me hope, because I know that God was stirring me up and trying make me get back to Him by just surrendering my time to Him.

--a.

it's never too late

2009-02-05T22:10:00.002-05:00

I think I made a new friend today.
This is quite an accomplishment for me, since I don't make friends easily. So I was in english class today, getting ready to leave (I was watching the clock, of course). With 5ish minutes left, I started a totally random conversation with this guy. We were just talking about a book that we have to read for class, and how it's ridiculous because we have to buy it on our own, and it costs 25$. So, I was quite outraged, you see. haha. Then he tells me how he found a copy at the library since he works there. Then we just started talking about if I speak mandarin or not, since I'm "so good at it". hahah. It was pretty funny. But I didn't take much notice from it at the moment. Outta no where, I realized that I made a friend today. I've knew him since the beginning of the school year, but I've never had the interest of talking to him til today.
You see, we always make excuses, saying "Oh, I dont have anyone to bring! I have no friends; I'm a loser." But there're opportunities everywhere! It's just whether or not you wanna take that initiative and be the one to say "Hey, whatcha doing?" first.
I think this concept of initiation is very applicable. It doesnt have to be making friends. It could apply for making amends, changing habits... etc. You know what I mean.

Looking forward to YOUR blogs, :)
--a.

on a lonely friday night.

2009-01-31T00:23:00.002-05:00

So this is what i do on friday nights, i read our blog. but no one else has blogged- what a bummer. so i read UNI's page. It was pretty interesting, just reading about 15 posts (some really long ones) all at once. it was pretty captivating, i must say.

I feel that there's just been so much going on. i feel that everyday, for the last week, at least, all i've been doing is study for exams. and up til now, i haven't exactly been worried. perhaps i was so out of it that i couldnt even get time to be worried. but really, what's the point of all my studying? just to get into university? and what happens after? i dont wanna sound emo, but that's what's been going on in my head.

However, i know that God's in control and im cool with that. Sometimes i scare myself because of how chilled i can be. But i've come to realized that this is God's peace. This is what He wants for me : not to worry about tomorrow, because tmr has enough worries of its own. ( I didn't want this to turn out into a "do no worry" post.. so i wont.)

So then it gets me to my next random thought. What am i wasting my time on? "waste" might not be the best word, but really, time seems to be lacking all the time (ha. pun.) but .. what do i spend my time on? what're my priorities? Why cant i just stop what i "shouldn't" be doing and instead, focus on what i should be. Like.. watching dramas. it's not like i dont have work to do, but im just sitting there. and half the time i'm not even watching the show.. it's just noise. maybe instead of all this wasted time on tv and such, maybe i can get more sleep. or even just more hwk time so i do quality work. or even better, more quality time with God. I can't say im not getting quality time with God.. but hey, the more the better. Sometimes i wonder if God gets bored of me, hahahah. :)

I think this is starting to be more of a rant blog then a ... "sharing about my experiences with God" blog. But that's okay. so lately i've been thinking about boundaries. im not sure if any one of you were even attending church back then, but we had a summer retreat, and that was the theme, i believe. i cant remember anything from then, but i have a bookmark in my bible, and it's green. haha. but everytime i think about that word "boundaries".. it has a negative connotation to it. if something is bound.. it's not good, right? it's restricted, limited to .. space? time? capabilities? i duno. i'm just saying.. "there's always gotta be a time to draw the line", right? but how do we know? i'm not exactly thinking of a specific situation, but just life in general. sorta like "how much candy is too much?" when my teeth start to rot? i'm just being a bit cynical here. but hey, the sky's the limit. i can do whatever i want, given that it's God driven. ( haha.)

if you read all that, then good job. im not sure what you got out of it. i think i just needed an outlet.
notice how i didnt even bother typing in Caps as i would normally on this blog because i want to promote correct english structure and grammar. haha. i'm too tired to think.

-a.

Religion vs. Rights

2009-01-29T22:50:00.003-05:00

So I was watching the news today, and it said that the TTC would start running atheist freedom of speech ads along the side of buses. Messages such as, "There is no God, so go on with your life". My issue is that I'm not against that. Am I wrong for being okay with that message being advertised?

I do think that everyone has a right to say what they want, and hey, if the atheists are paying for the ad space, why not? I do understand how people would be offended by the statement, but I'm pretty sure Christian messages offend too. I've seen messages about rewards in the afterlife, and if someone doesn't believe in that, it can feel offensive. To me, "go on with your life" gives me the impression that they're trying to say that people should be living it out instead of living in fear of the consequences. If you're looking at it from their perspective, the message can actually be pretty positive.

So where am I supposed to stand on this issue? As a Christian, I should be against it, right? But as a human, I feel like it's fair to let this statement be publicized. Sometimes I feel that as Christians, we are limited to certain views and opinions. I learned in law class that some people believe that God gave us all the same equal human rights, so doesn't that include freedom of speech? Even if it does denounce God, isn't it just a use of the same human rights that we have?

I guess I don't really have an answer to my question yet.

-sabrina

exam time= no time for God?

2009-01-22T23:36:00.003-05:00

So. Everyone seems to be on exam mode. I'm surprisingly chilled, considering that all these exams will and could "screw me over" for university. However, somehow i am at peace with myself. :) I think it's a good thing.

"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Col. 3:23 NLT

This verse always pops up at me when I have to do things that I'd rather not do. I think that whatever we do, there is a purpose. If it's not going to help you in your studies/life, you would not be required to do it. Many times we think of exams as a chore, something to dread over. But what happens when we change our attitude about it? Think of it as a gift for yourself. A gift for you to once and for all prove your capabilities. :) It's awesome, isn't it?

Another thing is.. a lot of time, we stay up, pull all nighters just to study for exams. And we totally leave God out of our lives for these few days/week, and then at the last minute, we pray to God and ask him for wisdom to do well. But like Turo said, don't leave prayer as your last resort; it should be the first. Let God help you through your exams :)

Happy studying,
--a.

Blue Monday

2009-01-20T17:10:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year, according to some psychologist.

Well, that really caught my attention. What makes a good day? What makes it bad? I had a fantastic day yesterday, so when I found out it was "supposed" to be the worst day in the year, I was even more grateful of the great day that I had.

"15 to 20 minutes a day of something that feels really good can counteract hours and hours of negative." -Wendy Matthews, a life coach

That statement is simple and direct, right? But where would I find something to do for 15-20 minutes on something that feels really good? :) DEVOTION! spend your time with God.

Lately, if you've read my previous blogs, I've learned that spending quality time with God is vital in my spiritual walk. We often say that it's really important to know what God wants and where He wants to lead us. But how? Read your bible. It's useful. I've found that God speaks in funny ways. He uses the least important details from your mundane life to show you just how awesome He is. :) Really, you gotta try it yourself.

“[Trials and Temptations] Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”- James 1:2-3

love,
-a.

2009-01-19T19:13:00.002-05:00

I have no idea how to start off, but it's been a long while since it happened to me. But anyway one day a while ago, i was cooking and it was a bit late already, so i decided to multitask in cooking. (not such a smart idea). Multitasking is fine, but as long as you don't forget what you're doing. I was making pork chops and put it in the mini oven and started to get the vegetables ready for cooking, well anyway like a while passed and the vegetables were ready to be cooked and i oiled the wok and left the lid on it. i took out the pork chops and started to cut it into pieces cuz i knew it would take a while for the oil to get hot. as time went by i forgot about the oil that was in the wok, i only remembered when there was this really really oily smell and then i remembered. first thing i quickly turned the stove off and moved it to the other side of the stove, that's when i realized how serious this was. i was about to open the lid, but then there was like a mini explosion that happened. there was a pop sound and i saw this orange/yellow glow to it and i screamed because it was sooo sudden and i thought that i would burn my house on fire. fortunately nothing happened to me or my kitchen (or else i would've been in major trouble) but that experience had taught me a lot.

That experience really reminded me of god. right after that moment i saw that orange/yellow glow, my heart raced and possibly skipped a beat, i was in shock. right after that i was really thanking god because something really bad might've happened to me.

For He will order his angels to protect you wherever you go (Psalm:91:11)
I remember reading this bible verse from my sister's bible before this incident happened to me.

I always thought before this experience that I have a right to remain safe with nothing serious happening to me (e.g. house fires, robbery etc.) but afterwards i know that God is here to help me and sends his angels to look out for me as well and that it is not a right to remain safe but it's a privilege.

Ever since that day happened to me i never cook multitasking ever again cuz i don't want to go through the same fright again.

Don't Give Up

2009-01-19T18:37:00.003-05:00

So after seeing the last post titled "Be My Escape", it inspired me to blog about a song.

Sanctus Real- Don't Give Up

Well I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
And Now you complain a lifetime just doesn’t feel right, for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?

Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Dont give up on love

Well I heard you say you can’t change a stubborn heart
Yea I can relate ‘cause that’s how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?

Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don’t give up on love and throw it all away

Your restless heart won’t win ‘cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is
Yea Your restless heart won’t win ‘cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is

Don’t give up on love and throw it all away
Don’t give up on love and let it fall away
Don’t give up on love
Don’t give up on love
Love

Yea Your restless heart won’t win ‘cause you take but you don’t give
And you’ll keep moving on until you learn what love is
Throw it all away

When I listen to music, I don't really listen listen to the lyrics. But with this song, I hear then words when I need it most. It's a really busy time, and there are so many uncertainties. The lyrics mention how running away from pain is easy and He can't change a stubborn heart. I also love the lyrics Why should it take losing everything to realize it might be time to change. Totally feeling those lyrcs. When times are hard, the easy choice is to just run away from whatever it is. The hard part is trusting that God will pull us through. It just feels so much better thinking that we have complete control of our lives. For me anyway, even though I tell myself to let go of what's happening and that whatever happens is meant to be, I feel like I need to control some part of my life so it feels like I'm not throwing it away. The funny thing is that it always takes a near disaster to realize that I can't do things on my own. For a few moments, I understand how it's really not all my choice and that God doesn't lead people into corners. He's given me so much and done so much for me- all out of love. When I come to these realizations, it does make me feel guilty about how I've tried to throw it all away because I wasn't getting what I expected. Then a new door opens and I'm just so thankful. But other than that, I'm not as faithful as I could be. I've got a restless heart that's often on the move, and I know that I can't win, but it's still an endless cycle...so far. Hopefully it does come to an end.

--sab

Be my escape.

2009-01-17T00:13:00.002-05:00

The first verse of psalm 10 says: "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" if you continue reading, you find out that God is not far off. "The Lord is King for ever and ever; the nations will perish from his land. You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more." (1:16-18)

So, the sight passage that i had to read for my exam was about this guy living in a nightmare and how we are all "bonded by nightmares". Everyone has a story. Everyone has a past. And everyone has their own nightmare, whether it be war, starvation, loneliness...you get the picture. When we're faced with our nightmare, our instinct would tell us to run. And often we do. We run because we don't want to face it (like i've mentioned in my previous blogs). However, we can't run forever, can we?

So this week my dilemma was music class. I know for a fact that i am not a musician. I cannot understand the music the way that i should, and i am almost sure that i am tone deaf. So this year we're playing these incredibly cool songs, but I cant play it. I really.. just couldn't do it. It's not a matter of practice, because i have tried. So then i think i just kinda told myself to stop caring so much about it. I have other things to worry about. Things that would actually aid me in my future. So in a way, it came down to prioritizing, and music came to the last spot. While i was contemplating my situation, all these angry thoughts came to me. "I should've dropped music a long time ago. The teacher is ridiculous, and i really cant take it anymore." etc. On monday, I had a talk with my teacher. (We're going on this trip, and I had to tell him that i dont want to go and i have no money to waste.) Before i talked to him, I came up with all these things that I could say. "Kick me out of the band, I can't do what you expect of me. You can't force me to go on a trip which i don't want to. I need you to stop expecting perfection from me because I'm sick of disappointing you over and over again." Like, I had no fear to say those things to him. I really didn't. I was actually going to say them. But I ended up just... crying. I simply told him that I can't afford to miss school and use money that i dont have. (It's not that expensive, but still, I need to save up for uni.) I felt like I couldn't lie to him at all because I knew that he cared for me. Then my teacher started saying these things that really made me feel like a jerk for ever thinking such angry thoughts in attempt to hurt him. I felt like i couldn't hide from him because his love/care was genuine and I can't run away from that.

Then it suddenly hit me. If I can't even run away from a mere teacher, how can I run away from God? And what can I do to make God so angry that He'll turn His face from me? Everything just seemed so unrealistic. How is it that God is able to take all these crap from me, and yet love me for who I am? There is no logic in that. But God is God. Nothing makes him happier other than me knowing how much He loves me and how much He wants me to "live life to its fullest". Like I said before, we have no idea how much God is capable of doing and how much bigger and stronger and more authoritative than anything of this world. God used my relationship with my teacher to teach me how much more He loves me and my vulnerability. Humans are limited, but God is not. God also taught me that I can't run from Him. I can try to hide all that I've done wrong, but don't be fooled, He already knows. There's no use in keeping secrets from Him, it only makes us feel more guilty by attempting to hide.

Whatever you're running from, you know that God is your escape. God is there, 24/7, waiting with open arms to listen and to embrace you for who you are. :)
Listen to "Be my escape" by Relient K if you want. I stole the title from them. hahaha.

--a.

New link to my blog

2009-01-11T12:54:00.003-05:00

Hi guys, with the help of an expert, I managed to add my own blog "ceaselesspraise" to this site under "list of blogs". So, there you can read my journal too! :) And also I can now make my "new posting" by my own gmail/blogger account. Cool eh?!

A Time for Everything

2009-01-11T00:41:00.003-05:00

After being accepted to university, things really began sinking in, and it put me in a pensive mood, so why not blog. The topic on my mind?
Change.

It kind of scares me how close university is, and it's got me thinking about who I am and who I want to be. I find that I can pick and choose my masks and mold them to fit the environment. It's kind of funny how I want a big change but a safety net as well. Anyway, I guess I'm worrying that if I want change too much, I'll fall into the wrong crowds and totally stray away. So while thinking of change and what might happen, this verse came to mind:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

So after reading this, I'm still really confused, but take some comfort in the fact that there's a time for everything. I guess what I'm trying to say is that whatever happens, happens. And it always happens for a reason. Now I'm thinking that it's not my time to worry yet. It's my time to just be thankful that I made it to this next step in life. I know that I need to trust God more with my life and let the pieces fall, but it's always just so hard to let go of things. I guess I'm kind of feeling that if now's "a time for peace", I want it to be "a time of war"- connecting to amy's 'evil thoughts' thing. I'm practically addicted to drama, and even though it's not the right time for it, and I know that I shouldn't be doing it, it's an addiction. Like every addiction, it's hard to kick.

--sab.

blogging.

2009-01-10T01:41:00.002-05:00

i just realized that i write alot.
dont be intimidated :(
POST, POST, POST!

What're you planning?

2009-01-10T01:14:00.000-05:00

I just wanna sure the verse that i talked about in my sharing today.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24

23"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. 24Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. (NIV)

if you didnt understand that, another version goes like this:

23All things are legitimate [permissible--and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].

24Let no one then seek his own good and advantage and profit, but [rather] each one of the other [let him seek the welfare of his neighbor]. (Amplified Bible)

Furthermore,

23-24Looking at it one way, you could say, "Anything goes. Because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well. (The Message)

it always surprises me how many different ways the bible could be interpreted.

So, back to my real point.

What I experienced during my conversation with God and my struggle with my friend was very powerful. I'm still in awe of how God knows me so well. I think that our sinful nature is constantly working inside us without us knowing. This is dangerous because we sometimes our actions hurt others and/or ruins other people's views about what we believe in. But really, once we realize that we are at fault, what do we do to stop our sinful nature? Do we just think about it and forget it the next second? Or do we take a step and ask God to help us cleanse ourselves of this sin? Right now, I'm in a mixed emotion... i still want to get the message across to my friend that his/her actions upset me (and not just me). But at the same time, how do i act out of love? How do i make sure that my motivation is from God and not from my own evil schemes? Many times, i think we struggle with this, and we subconsciously just let it go. We don't deal with these situations because we don't know what to do, and we don't want to ruin friendship. Or, we just dont have the guts to do it. But really, if the results of me confronting my friend enables him/her to really see what's going on, maybe he/she can change. Maybe God is working in him/her too. I think a really big message from 1 Cor. is that whatever you do, if it doesn't benefit others, don't do it. This is very hard for me, if you know me well enough. I tend to take things into my control and do whatever my mood fits. I'm learning to let God take control, and also to be transformed into someone better than who i am right now.

As we said today in fellowship, God is our refuge, our stronghold, our shield, our protection, our strength... He is able to help us through whatever struggles we have, only if we let him.

May we continue to reflect on God's "bigness" and get to know him even more.

-a.

2009-01-06T20:05:00.001-05:00

The other day I noticed my friend kinda down and I decided to ask him/her what had happened. And after a while my friend told me that it all started on boxing day. And right there I guess what she had done. My friend had a history of stealing things from stores and it wasnt nessasarily my friend's fault as he/she was very presurred to do it. Blame peer presure I guess? And all along I would keep tryign to tell him/her that its wrong. Every time we would go somewhere, I made it my duty to stop him/her from stealing and that over time, he/she would eventually stop. But obviously I wasnt that great of an influence as on boxing day he/she decided to steal again and was finally caught when I wasnt there. My friend had a lot going on after with his/her parents disapointed and my friend feeling really bad and all. And although she wasn't charged, he /she did have to pay a fine and be banned from the store for a year which my friend stole from. After hearing this I was kinda disapointed. I remember in sunday school learning about how we have to influence others.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Corinthians 7:14)

I felt like I have failed and just wasnt strong enough to stop my friend. However my friend did manage to learn his/her lesson from this, even though it was through the hard way. And not only that, I too have learned my lesson. After all this, it made me realize that I need to be a stronger influence to the people around me. Just think. If I was a stronger influence, things like this could have been prevented.

Where is the love?

2009-01-03T20:19:00.000-05:00

So i was doing my devotion yesterday night, and i came across these verses.

13Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. 14Do everything in love.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (New International Version)

For some reason this really caught my eye. I suppose it's because of verse 14, where it says "Do everything in love". What does this mean? How do we do things out of love?

Another version goes like this: 13-14Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you've got, be resolute, and love without stopping.

Love without stopping. I guess it's a bit foolish to ask what is "love" after all these bible studies that we've done concerning this topic, but I'm still learning, i guess. Often, I find myself not knowing how to respond out of love, but rather out of my own ... evil ways, if you know what i mean.

Hopefully I'll learn how to love others without stopping. May this verse be encouragement for us. :)

-a.

Dear Samuel Fellowship :)

2009-01-03T20:10:00.001-05:00

HELLO!
so this is going to be our blog. :)
You could either get your own account and become a "follower", or you could simply comment after each post.
I think it'd be nice if you read someone else's thoughts and comment on it if you find anything that you could relate to, or have questions, or simply want to comment.

Feel free to post!