This is too much thinking for this late at night.

So I'm sitting here trying to brainstorm an outline for my anthropology essay comparing religions of the world. I'm comparing Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. I decided that one thing I could *easily* compare was the different styles of prayer. So I start my outline, and I'm thinking..."okay, Hinduism and Buddhism use images, etc; Muslims pray five times a day and have a set list of what to pray for; and Christianity....and Christianity..."

How do we pray? I could write that we pray before bedtime, we pray before meals, and that we pray on Sundays. I could write that we pray to give praise and ask for things. I could write that we pray because the Bible says so and that it's what we're taught "to develop a relationship with God". Since I started university, I've taken courses on almost all the major religions of the world- except Christianity. So now it's kind of funny to see the irony in all this. I can give you textbook answers about all the other religions. We're even taught about how people of those faiths feel about praying. So what am I supposed to do now? I could give a Sunday School answer on Christianity and regurgitate how we're supposed to feel about praying...but it feels really fake. I'm actually really glad that I've had the opportunity to learn about other religions because it has helped me reflect on my own faith.

Excuse me while I think aloud:

• Why is it such a chore sometimes for me to pray?
  
• Do I ask for too much? What happened to that 'praise' component of prayer?
  
• Prayer's supposed to bring one closer to the holy being- how is my relationship with God?
  
• Do I believe in prayer? Why do I pray? What is prayer to me?

I mean, we've been taught about prayer 2894723 times, but what does that REALLY mean to us? I hope all this makes sense. Basically, I know what the answer is on paper (and I'd probably need to write that since it's "academically unbiased" and stuff), but I WANT to know the biased (Christian) answer. So yeah- just some things to think about.

Also:
I was talking to my friend the other day- it was a pretty deep and heartfelt conversation. She's a person who believes in God, used to go to church, but has some doubts in Christians due to past experiences. She doesn't know if she should have the right to call herself "Christian". So all the time I was talking to her, I kept saying things like "oh yeah, maybe you should go to fellowship with someone else...maybe Sunday service would be good for you" etc. Then after a while, she was telling me about her Christian friend and how she felt encouraged and cared for just because he said "I'll pray for you". Honestly, that kind of made me feel shameful because it's so easy to say those 4 words, but I always think like...I don't want to be *that* kind of a Christian that intimidates people with my Christian-ness...it'd be awkward...etc. But yeah- it actually does help. And that's what the power of prayer can do.

You know what? I'm on a roll. I've actually been meaning to blog for a while.
So one of the things that I'm lent-ing is that I've been reading the Bible everyday for at least 10 minutes. Yeah, that's not a lot of time at all, but it's 10 more minutes than I've been doing for the past few years. Even then, I usually don't go past 15 minutes. I do hope I can keep this up because sometimes I'd pause and go "oh yeah- I forgot God did that! Wow, He's so amazing". Goood stuff.
On the other hand, I have another thing for lent going on. We'll keep it vague enough by saying that it was to give up something I shouldn't be doing, but is very hard to avoid in university. One of my "coping mechanisms" is by deeply thinking about what lent means and what it would mean if I "break it". I'm just gonna leave it at that. Bottom line- lenting this is harder than I thought I would be.

Sorry for the essay- I talk a lot when I'm stressed and pensive.