So this morning, I found myself sitting in a car waiting to do my G2 test (again). I was freakishly nervous. I'm talking like, I STILL have a stomach ache from the nervous feeling in my gut. It was horrible. So I'm trying to take my mind off the test, and I noticed that I randomly started (silently) singing worship tunes in my head. Huh. Okay, so that's kinda comforting. But the nervous feeling isn't going away, so I began to hum. Which is totally weird because I never hum. Then soon enough, I find myself full out singing in my car. I still can't believe i did that.
Anyway, towards the end of my little musical act, I began to realize that I've really been taking God for granted. It's so easy to pray and seek His comfort when I'm in need and to praise Him when good things happen. But other than that, this past month or so, it's been a one-way relationship. I've been focusing a lot on me. Why is my life going in this direction, what am I supposed to do, what's in it for me...etc. I really need to get back into the mindset that a relationship with God works both ways. Not only what He does for me, but what I can do for Him. It almost felt...unfair that I neglected God for so long, but right when I needed Him, He was there for me.
So this got me thinking about something that I learned at Sunday sermon a few months ago. In Matthew 21:6, when Jesus is about to enter Jerusalem, the crowds shout "Hosanna!" at his presence. However, in Matthew 27:22, those same crowds disown him by shouting "Crucify him!" when Pilate asks who the crowds want him to release. This is an example of how easily we praise and disown God. One minute, we're praising God for the good blessings in our life. But once the going gets tough and we face a challenge, it's so easy to turn our back on God.
(8) "...I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name"?
Oh definitely.
amen, sister.
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